Still The Cross

This year alone has proved to be the toughest year in my life that I've had to go through... and to be honest, looking back at it all, no tears are shed about the pain, just a smile drawn on my face and a "Thank You, God." coming from a very greatful heart. And this song "Still The Cross" by FFH, has me smiling and paints picture in my mind of a cross, with words that are all in different colors, bright happy colors that make you smile, and they say 'Hope' , 'Peace' , 'Love' , 'Joy' , 'Life' , 'Purpose' , 'Freedom' ... etc.

I've been listening to this song by FFH for awhile now... and another song came to mind, the name of it is, On and On by Chasen... They both basically say the same thing, but with different words... but they come to one conclusion, it's still the cross... that no matter what we go through in life, God is always there for us like He has promised...

"Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you..." -Hebrews 13:5

Believe me, I know what it's like to feel completely alone, and like no one cares, and that I'm too much of screw up for people to love me any longer, I've felt like crap... My world seemed to have came crashing down around me, and honestly, it truly seemed like no one saw it happen, and even if they did, they must not have cared too much about me... because all they ever did was stand there and watch... not doing anything, or saying anything. (I was very wrong on that...)

To be honest, I've been on both sides(the one who is hurting, and the one who is trying to help, but the other person isn't willing to listen)... and they suck... they're completely terrible. I know how it feels to be on both, and it scares the heck out of people. I mean for the person hurting, alot of things are going through their mind at that time... They can be pretty stubborn at times, but don't give up hope for them... why? because when everything crashes, and our worlds come tumbling down, there's a tower of peace in the midst of heartache... it's still the cross.

It sucks on both sides of it, but to be honest, on the hurting side, I've learned alot from all of the situations... and through it all, I think it's made me rely on God more and not myself... I'm not too reassuring of myself in times of heartache... I'm shaken, scared, and everything else... but God's not. He feels our pain, and He still loves us no matter what we do, say, or don't do or don't say....

And going through the pain, and learning to rely on God more, helps in times like these when someone I know is going through something that I don't know how to respond to... and therefore, I must trust in God and pray for a lot of paitence and love for this person. It's hard, I know... but there's still hope for us all yet. Knowing God and trusting Him with these situations is hard to do, I gotta admit. but I know it'll all be worth it in the end... and no more tears will be shed, just smiles drawn on our faces, and a "Thank You, God." from greatful hearts.

-- Kate :)

What Started It All :)

-This would be my first thing that really got me into writing.... It is my first one. And, I will say this, it is most deffinately not my best one... but, it was a kick start to a new "passion" for me... I was thinking earlier, and when I was younger I had a journal, I remember what I would always write in it... it was more often then not, about my dad. I was mad at for not being the father he should be... Yes, it took me a while.. but I did forgive him... and I'm still learning.-

-Oh yeah, I used to write about something else when I was younger too... but you'd laugh at me for it.. its awkward, so I haven't really told anyone yet. but heck, I was a little kid and my "stories" were funny... or atleast that's what my family wanted me to think. :) haha-

So, here goes nothing:)... (it's not my favorite one at all)

-- June 17th 2009 --
Tonight, at church when people went to the alter they played the song Who Am I by Casting Crowns. God gave me the reminder that I often need whether I know it or not, that I am His. Oh, how often we need that reminder! It made me cry when I heard that song. I absolutly love that song along with 5000 other really good Christian songs. But, that's not my point here. My point is, is that we are Gods...and we need that reminder daily.

Well, I haven't told anyone about my parents and the divorce and that it hurts. alot. I know there is nothing I can do about the fact that my parents are officialy divorced. They have been divorced for a month and two days. And it hasn't gotten any easier. It sucks. I may have been fatherless as a child. But, here's something I love; "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling" -Psalm 68:5

A father to the fatherless is simply amazing. If I never knew Jesus, I would be searching for this Jesus and failing at every turn I'd take. I honestly could not tell you where I'd be if I didn't know Jesus because honestly, I don't want to know, ever. I can tell you where I was and that I'm not there anymore because I found this Jesus in Branson, Missouri at a youth convention in October of '08. I could not tell you what I felt but I can tell you who I felt more than ever, that "who" is JESUS! I remember it like it was yesterday. I know where I was standing and what song Hillsong United was playing. The song was From The Inside Out. Jesus changed me from the inside out.

It doesn't matter what I go through, how I see the circumstances is all about a choice. I can stay here and tell you over and over again how much it sucks that my parents are not together anymore and I can tell you alot of things you probably don't care about...but, I'm not going to. I will say this, and it's a quote, "I can not say I believe. I know! I have been gripped by something far stronger than myself. --something people call God."

Just Another Rant... :)

Okay, so to be honest, I'm starting to miss that time in life when it seemed simple... and by simple I mean the drama being "HE STOLE MY CRAYONS!", Boys having cooties, and homework being 2 + 2... Now, sadly, it isn't so simple anymore. The drama has gone from crayons, to "SHE STOLE MY BOYFRIEND!!" -and that ending in some stupid girl fight-, and boys having "cooties", to girls saying, 'He's so mine.' , and homework, well, that's still confusing. (Just admit it, when you were in kindergarden/first grade, you thought 2 + 2 was a hard problem... I sure did... now, what I dislike is when they started putting letters in with math and those two in with chemistry.) Well, I'm clearly not in Elementary anymore, I'm in high school... and well, the homework is confusing, the drama is annoying, and as for the boys, they're not as dramatic as the females are. :-)

I've been thinking lately, (more like for the past 20 minutes) that I didn't believe people when they told me that life will fly by and before you can even blink, you'll have kids of your own ... blah blah blah... (I haven't gotten to the 'having kids of your own' part yet... that's another story that God knows about) These people that would tell me this, normally got me giving them some look and of course, I rolled my little eyes at them, said "Yeah, right!" and walked off.

Well, I blinked, and I'm a Junior in high school.... and I'm excited/very nervous for these last two years of high school. I don't want to believe that I'm really going to be finishing out high school in two years... Ohmygoodness.!

To be honest, I'm so glad Sophmore year is over.... It wasn't entirely suckish, but when February hit, life took a one eighty on me... I've never been through anything in my life that was ever that hard (I mean, my parents divorce was hard, but this, this tops it by like so much)... Believe me, it was horrible. I've had thousands of sleepless nights, crying so much my eyes would start to hurt, laying in bed asking God 'Why me? Why now?'. I was tempted to cut my wrists, tempted to end my life... But I didn't attempt either at all.

Typing the above was hard... I started to cry at the end... especially at the 'end my life' part. That's deep, and that's serious... and I'm glad that some people actually took me seriously on that. When I said tempted, I ment it. but as the song I was listening to was ending, I heard on K-LOVE, "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns come on... and guess what? There's that peace and comfort again. God's amazing. (And that's one major UNderstatement! He's indescribable!)

Back to the nervous/excitedness part...

I'm nervous because I'm starting/leading a campus ministry at my high school and I have no clue if what happened last school will impact my junior year negatively... that's the last thing I want, and the last thing I'd need is people (a.k.a certain family members) getting on my case about grades.. okay, I know they're important, but really? I don't need you to be my critic... I need you to lead me... If you're going to critize me, make sure it's constructive critizism before you open your mouth.... or you'll only make me mad at you, and then I won't want to talk to you and if you wanna know why I don't want to be critized, go back and look at what happened my sophmore year, I'm not in the mood to be ordered around like some sort of puppet on strings.

And, I've some what set my mind on getting good grades these two years that I have left at high school. Yeah, the only thing I hate about that is, when my grandparents give me the 'if you get good grades, C's and above, we'll give you money..' speech. Wow. really? Did it occur to you that money, for me, is a poor motivator? Would it kill you to say "I'm proud of you for getting good grades"? And giving me a little nudge and encourgement to go and do it is so much better than hearing "Ok, you've gotten good grades... here's ten dollars." I see what they're trying to get at with the money and all, but it's pathetic. (If I bursted your bubble, get over it... and blow another one.)

Ohhh, yeah, I start junior year August 16th... six months before I turn 17!! --ohmygoodness!--

P.S.
I'm excited but extremely nervous!! So, pray will ya?! For my school to be transformed by the power of the gospel and for other teenagers, like me, to be fully committed to THE Cause ... and will relationally and relentlessly reach out to those that they know with the message and mission of Jesus.? Oh yeah, and I'm shy and I'm leading this crazy thing with other teenagers who love Jesus... Yeah, I love this!
And I was texting a friend earlier, and she said that she and her best friend started doing Flagpole Fridays before they graduated... Every Friday they'd get a group of people to pray around the flagpole in front of their school.... Hmmm, I don't know about you, but I'm thinking we're going to do this too.!!

- Katelyn

♥ John 3:16 ♥

.:♥:. This Fragile Breath / Something Heavenly .:♥:.

I had orginally started writing this in my journal, and really felt that I should "write" it on my blog rather than in my journal... which still, as of now, has nothing in it, because everything that I write about, I prefer to type it out and to basically expose everyone that I know and whoever runs across my blog, about the truth of Jesus.

and 'sides, I don't normally write in my journal, because everything that has been placed on my teenage heart, has been typed out and posted onto here for everyone to read and leave comments... which few have done. I post them here, on my blog for the world to see that I love Jesus, and want them to come and know Him and love Him as well like I do... Because He's absolutly undeniably incredible.

I've been listening to this one certain song for quite a while, it's called 'This Fragile Breath' and it's sung by Todd Agnew, and it's reminded me of how 'small' I am, and that all of things that I write are about God have fallen so short and that there's not one single word in the english language or in any language on earth that could fully justify the complete description of how amazing God is. I was thinking earlier as this song was playing, and it got to a certain part where Todd sang about not finding any writings that are worthy of this God high above... for what are my words compared to Yours?

Take a few minutes and listen to this song... ;




I was playing this song earlier, and I heard K-LOVE in the background playing 'Something Heavenly' by Sanctus Real... I think they just read my mind with that, because whatever is happening inside feels like choas... but peaceful. I don't get it, but with my puny brain, I don't think I will get it.




This song describes how I feel about my last two years of High School... I'm absolutly nervous about starting and leading a campus ministry. I officially start my junior year of high school in a little over three weeks, and well, I'm excited/nervous. I'm excited and nervous because I'm going to start a campus ministry, and I'm nervous because I'm leading it and I tend to be pretty shy. I guess it's a good thing that none of these people have "known" me since kindergarden. Nervous or not, I've got to do what Jesus said ... it's not a suggestion. This summer has been intense, with a ton of ups and downs that I loved/hated... but I do know one things for sure, "God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) and "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13). and "If our God is for us, then who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31) but, I don't care that I'm shy, I'm ready and willing to do this. Call me UNcool, but I am UNashamed♥ ohh and please pray for my peers to be xposed to truth of Jesus.

As I was listening to one song and hearing slightly of the other one in the background, I was thinking about how awesome God is, and that He's been extremely amazing in so many ways this year... I've went through alot this year, and through all the hurt, pain and anger that I've felt and sometimes still do feel towards some people and their actions, (No, I will not tell you who they are... that is between me and God... not me, God and you. Thankyou). God has always been there for me.. even when I denied that He was there... and through it all, He's taught me three huge things.

1. be real in my relationships
2. at the end of the day, God isn't shaken by what has happened
3. love without judging (I fail at that and the first one... but I'm human... we're not perfect.)

Those three things may not mean much to you, but they mean alot to me.

Rant #2 ... Enjoy!!

I don't know about anyone else, but I start my junior year of high school in exactly one month from today... I'm excited/nervous. I'm excited and nervous because I'm going to start a campus ministry, and I'm nervous because I'm leading it and I tend to be pretty shy. I guess it's a good thing that none of these people ......have "known" me since kindergarden. Nervous or not, I've got to do what Jesus said... it's not a suggestion. This summer has been intense, with a ton of ups and downs that I loved/hated... but I do know one things for sure, "God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) and "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Phil. 4:13). but, I don't care that I'm shy, I'm ready and willing to do this. Call me UNcool, but I am UNashamed♥ ohh and please pray for my peers to be xposed to truth of Jesus.



I don't have everything fully prepared yet, but I'll get what I can ready, and let God do what He plans on doing in the hearts and lives of the other teenagers. I don't know what's going to happen, but I know whatever happens, it's going to be amazing, and I really am convinced that God will most definitly make Himself known in whatever way He chooses to! Pray that His truth will be spoken in love and that none of us give up or give in when things get rough. and pray that our peers will be xposed to the truth of Jesus.




"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit," - Matthew 28:19

"Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth." Jeremiah 1:6-9


- Katelyn

Just a rant...(: enjoyy it.

If there's anything I can say, and mean it with all that I am, I'd say that I'm thankful for everything that has happened in my life during my Sophmore year of high school. You can bet I sure hated going through it, but getting "over" it and moving on, is the better half of it all. And honestly, I learned three huge things that I would not have learned any other way...

1. To be a legit friend and not hold back the truth.
2. At the end of the day, God still remains UNmoved by everything that happens.
3. To love without judging.

Those three things may or may not mean anything to you... but I think learning them will help me get through these last two years that I have left of high school... and you can bet I'm thankful. And there's one thing I know for sure, "God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called acording to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

I've been thinking that I'm glad I go to the school I go to, because, to be honest, if we still lived in Kansas, I'm convinced that no campus ministry would ever get started... let alone if it did, it would probably die out mid school year. And those people have "known" me since kindergarden, so I'd be even more freaked out and wouldn't reach out like I should. And I didn't really know anyone anyways... that's another thing, too.

But that's not something I need to be focused on. My focus is on Jesus.

Buttt, after I can get the CM started, I should have more writings or whatever about sharing Jesus with the students on our campus... maybe I'll have videos too(:

The Generous Mr. Lovewell

Ok, so to be honest, the fact that I'm going to be a Junior in High School in six weeks, really freaks me out a little. I wish that I wouldn't have wished to be older when I was in second grade... yeah, like that would have prevented it from happening to anyone. Well, now it has happened, and instead of it being nine years from now, it's six weeks. Agh! Well, I gave this the title 'The Generous Mr. Lovewell' because not only is it a good song by MercyMe, it's actually something that I've been commited to since the very start of my sophmore year at a new high school that's twice the size as the one I went to in kansas, and there's probably 700 more people in it. (Total there are 1,400 including me) As if I didn't feel "small" enough already?!

Listen to what the guys of MercyMe have to say about it. Note: They don't actually start talking about the song til it hits the three minute mark... ;D

Honestly, trying to be like the generous mr.lovewell, isn't exactly easy.... You're going to look dumb to some. And being mr.lovewell, just means that I'm willing to go that extra mile and love those teenagers at my high school well... and that's by telling them about the very thing that changed my life and gave me life, love, joy, peace, hope and a purpose to live... and there's nothing in this world that can take that from me. I may love life, but I love God more<3>

And therefore, I'm taking Jesus seriously when he says to go and make disciples. (Matthew 28:19)

I know you love your friends, and the last thing you'd ever want to do is put that friendship at risk over something so important like sharing Jesus with them. I'm a teenager, and my relationships mean alot to me... They mean so much to me that I'm willing to put them at risk over what I believe.... And my friends know that too... or they should. I love them way too much to ever let them go to hell. I know God loves them, and I love them too... that's why I refuse to be silenced about what's true. I don't care if it's uncool, or I'm uncool for it... whatever... I don't want to be cool, that's just not what matters to me. God gave me a purpose of living, and I really don't think that being "cool" is apart of that purpose.

If Jesus is willing to go to the cross and look stupid for us, are you going to be willing to look stupid for Him? Are you willing to go and tell your friends that God loves them? You're putting relationships on the line... and if you ask me, it's worth it all.♥ You say your friends will hate you for it, but, they'll hate you more if you don't tell them... what if they find out from a stranger that God loves them and died for them to prove it and that if they put their faith in Christ alone, that they can know for sure that when they die, they'll go to heaven. They may disown you as a friend, and may start some terrible untrue rumors, and could even beat you up for it... but it's all worth it.


I'm willing to put my relationships at risk, are you? Remember, it's worth it all.





- Katelyn<3

-- Independence Day --

I'm Proud To Be An American(:

Ready Now.:♥:.

The first time I heard this song, I cried. It was great[:

Are you ready to give God your everything and let Him use you? It's well worth everything.:♥:.

"So take my heart and make it new and make it true and make it like You Take my hands I lift them high they're yours not mine Do what You will"

This song reminds of something very important. It's a commitment that I made before my Sophmore year of High School started.... and I'm really glad I made it and that I've tried to stay true to it. That commitment is to love the other teenagers at my high school with the love of Jesus. I'll be a Junior when school starts up again, and I'll be starting a campus ministry. Pray for us please. I'll keep this updated when school starts back up again and the CM is started.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. - Ephesians 5:1