Can I just be real for a minute? This brand of midnight is overstaying its welcome.
I haven't been writing nearly as often as I desire and the truth is, I haven't honestly felt like myself in so long. It has been one year now since I last seen/heard from my Dad, I have never felt so strongly than I do now that this is a season from the pit of Hell; that's how much agony my heart is in.
In the post I wrote last year (2015), I shared some things that terrified me to be so open about. But if I can be brave with my story, then maybe someone else can be with theirs too.
I don't know what your 2015 looked like but I'm believing God for a better 2016. Maybe last years events will start to make sense soon. At least I hope. And even if I don't see the reason for another five years, I will choose to trust Him to work it together for my good and His glory. Through these trials, my faith has been tested and grown stronger as a result. Last year felt like pure Hell on earth; I hated it. Twenty-fifteen has been written down as the absolute hardest year that I have ever had to go through... Right next to 2010.
While I hate these really dark valley seasons of my life, these are the exact ones I look back on and am thankful for...but in the midst of the valley, it's hard to be thankful. I'm still learning to just trust Him.
---------
The above was written in January 2016. It is now December 2018. I don't know why what I wrote was just sitting as a draft and wasn't ever posted. It has been a rough journey and I still have so much further to go. Sometimes I don't know how to keep going but I refuse to give up, no matter how many times or how hard I fall. I will not give up. Not til I'm called Home. There's still so much to do and I don't want to lose sight because there's so much hope I have... and that's only because of Jesus.
I'm honestly so thankful.
Also, if you're hurting, I hope this new song by Ledger gives you the courage to fight on.... You're not dead yet! Keep going.
---------
The above was written in January 2016. It is now December 2018. I don't know why what I wrote was just sitting as a draft and wasn't ever posted. It has been a rough journey and I still have so much further to go. Sometimes I don't know how to keep going but I refuse to give up, no matter how many times or how hard I fall. I will not give up. Not til I'm called Home. There's still so much to do and I don't want to lose sight because there's so much hope I have... and that's only because of Jesus.
I'm honestly so thankful.
Also, if you're hurting, I hope this new song by Ledger gives you the courage to fight on.... You're not dead yet! Keep going.
Katelyn
No comments:
Post a Comment