Called To Something More. . .

These past couple months I've honestly been feeling frustrated and "alone." (I'll explain what I mean by "alone" later.)

I've been feeling frustrated because it seems like the Church is missing out on what God's been calling us to do. Like the fact that we were supposed to be the Church long before walking through the doors of a building that we all call church. But the Church is not a building, it's what Christians do outside of that building. It's what we're doing the other 575 hours every week when we're not in that building that matters.

I guess my frustration has been coming from getting sick 'n tired of seeing Christians get together in a church building and just wait around for the lost to come to them. Jesus didn't say for us to sit around, build buildings, and run programs. What He did tell us to do is to "GO!"

Matthew 28:18-20 and Acts 1:8 are the two accounts in the Bible of Jesus' last words before ascending into Heaven.

           Matt. 28:18-20: Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in Heaven and on Earth have been given to me. Therefore GO and MAKE DISCIPLES of ALL NATIONS baptizing them in the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. And teaching them to obey EVERYTHING I have commanded you. And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age."


           Acts 1:8: "You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."


This is what THE Cause of Christ is, and it's the very cause that every single Christian is called to. This is exactly what we need to be doing; sharing this message with everyone that we can. I know that telling others about Jesus isn't easy, and if I'm being honest here, it freaks me out. It's scary and awkward. But I believe there's a payoff of seeing the God of the universe working in and through us to change this world around for His glory. We as Christians, have been given an undeserved gift; not only have we been saved from death by the death and resurrection of Jesus, but we have been given a message that can save others as well, and God has chosen us to be His messengers.


‎We have one primary responsibility as Christians, and that is to share this message with those who need to hear that there is hope and that no matter what they've done, God still loves them like crazy and isn't mad at them and is more willing and ready to forgive them than they may think.


This message of Jesus is so overwhelmingly powerful and beautiful that we cannot sit around and just keep it to ourselves. It's so true and transformational that we need to be doing everything we can to take this message to a lost, broken and needy world that badly needs to hear it.

And for me, it gets really tough because I feel like I'm "alone." Only in the sense that I don't have or know of anyone in Kansas City who has the same - if not more - passion and love for God as I do. I've just been feeling that as Christians, God didn't call us to do life alone. Yes, I know that God's always there but that's not what I mean here right now. But no matter how tough or stressed out I get, I'm not giving up for anything. . . ever.

I love Jesus and I love what He's been doing in and through me to change the world around me. I know that I can do all things through Him because He's the one who gives me the strength to do so.

- - - I started writing this in my notebook last night while I was feeling frustrated and "alone". Hope someone got something from it. I know I haven't gone to college for this writing thing yet, but I don't need a degree to be used by God.

Even If or Only If ? ♥

Last night on Facebook, a friend had posted a status that had me thinking about my life. I know that wasn't the intention for it to inspire me to write something, but that's what happened. Of course, out of respect for her, I'm not going to put what she posted on here. But I will post what part of my comment on it was below:

". . . Life is tough, but it can't change the nature of who God is. Personally, I don't care if I live to be 100, I just want to live my life for God no matter what life throws my way. I want to live to make an eternal impact for His Kingdom. Because I know that life is far to precious to be wasted on temporary things of this world. I know life's tough, but I also know that God is good no matter what we face. . ." 

 Whether I live to be 100 years old or not, isn't of my concern. Like the comment I said on her status, I just want to live my life for God no matter what happens. I know it's tough to live with the mind-set of "Even if life doesn't go my way, I'll still follow You no matter what. . ." But I also know it's worth it. I've been through a lot in my 17 years of life, I didn't ask for it, but God somehow turned things around and made them work for my good. (Romans 8:28)

I remember in 2008 (10/17/2008) when I gave my life to Jesus, I made a statement that no matter what happens to me from the moment on, I'd follow Him no matter what. I meant it then, and I mean it now. I want my life to show it, too.

By the way, here's a picture I put together for the meaning of Even If... I wasn't even paying attention when I put the little stick people and the clouds/rain/sun on here:

Those little stick figures and the clouds/rain/sun mean that no matter what life brings, God's going to be praised even in the storm. I never want to live my life with the Only If mind-set. . . All that one says is "I'll follow You God, only if I don't have to go through this or do that. . ." or "I'll continue to follow you only if I can see immediate results from my life being lived for You. . ." Those with the Only If mind-set seem to only fizzle out somewhere along the way because life doesn't go their way.

I know this probably won't be long, but that's okay. I just know that these past few days, God has really been breaking my heart and giving me the desire to be a person who goes after His own heart. It's tough, and can be painful. But I don't care. It may take a lifetime to see an impact from my life on this world, and I'm okay with that. Because at the end of my life, I don't care if people know who I am, I just care about them knowing who He is. I only want to chase what matters and what will last into eternity.

As I posted from Twitter to Facebook, "From life's first cry to my final resting position; I want my life to count for something greater than myself." I know I've been told I inspire people, but sometimes, it's hard to feel that way. I know it's true though because I've heard people say it so much, and I've seen God use what I'd write to inspire me to continue to live for Him.

It's difficult. But I don't plan on giving up or giving in any time soon. I plan on giving it all I've got no matter what happens.

This wasn't how I intended for this to be written, but that's how I felt it needed to go.
Well, it's not long, but I pray you got something out of this. Because now I am tired and should've gone to bed an hour ago. .

You May Not Finish Reading This...

You may not finish reading this and I may not finish writing it. I say those two things because not a single one of us are promised our next breath. You could be on your last week and don't even know it. If I knew this were my last week - I'd surely want to live it with more urgency to tell others about Jesus. Since I don't know when I'll die, I need to be doing all I can to live like I and others could die at any given moment.

I'm writing this for one of three reasons:
1: I pray that your heart is seriously broken for those who don't know Jesus.
2: It breaks my heart to know that some of my friends and family are headed for an eternity apart from God.
3: This certain video on YouTube really got me.. I'll post it below. Please, watch it in it's entirety.

Did you catch that? You just never know when you could die. I myself am not scared of dying, I'm heartbroken that some of my friends and family aren't ready. I know it's not my job to make them or anyone else listen to the truth. It's my job to share the truth and let God do the rest.
Of course I've talked to friends and what was said was completely rejected. I've been cussed at and told to shut up before - but that won't stop me. This message of Jesus is to great to let man keep me quiet over. I'd rather die than be quiet about Jesus. He loves them. And I want to love them the way He loves them. Unconditionally. That's tough since He's perfect, and I'm far from it. But I'm still learning.

(( I don't know how I'm going to finish this - I'm pretty tired, but I refuse to go to bed till I'm finished. (: ))

I feel like I should say that although I've been getting distracted by life for awhile, that God has really gotten my attention to really gain an urgency for telling others about Jesus. Although I know it's going to be challenging for this shy teenager in many ways, but I'm not worried about that. I just know that people need Jesus desperately, and we need to tell them about Him no matter the cost. Sure we may encounter some risky awkward moments - but here's the deal, it takes risking it all to share your faith. You may lose your popularity, you may even lose some friends. Are you willing to risk it all? And if you are, I believe that there is a payoff of seeing God work in and through you to do something great in the life of someone else.

People need Jesus. And if you need your heart broken for them, pray for God to break your heart and you could also go to a mall and imagine a "Bound For Hell" sign on their forehead.. Because without God, that's where they're going... Hell. For eternity. There are no second chances after you die. So don't waste your life. Make a choice today to not waste your life any longer. This is eternity we're talking about.. Heaven.(Eternity with Jesus, No crying, death, mourning, pain, There's joy, love, peace, goodness, kindness, mercy, grace, perfection.. etc) Hell. (Eternity separated from God. Weeping, hopelessness, no love, no joy, no peace, no perfection..etc)

I'd type out the Gospel - but I'm tired enough already.. This video tells it quite well (:

Forgiveness [It Truly Is Beautiful.] ♥

It all started with a simple text message (March 15th, 2010) that clearly wasn't meant for me to see. And I truly wish I wouldn't have picked mom's phone up that night. I remember everything from that point on like it was yesterday. Here's the story: mom and her friend went inside the place where my mom worked, and I was in the car waiting for them to come back. As I was waiting, someone [my grandpa] sent mom a text message and so I thought it'd be nice for me to get her phone and hand it to her inside. And while I was walking inside the building, I clicked 'View'. Really really bad idea. My jaw dropped, questions soared and tears flowed. When I looked up, mom's face said it all "Oh no. She knows." Later that night, mom told me that basically everyone knew and not a single one of them wanted me to find out from anyone else except from the one who needed to tell me. Why? well, because it wouldn't be right not to and I'm the sensitive one.

[Never did I think I'd be the last one to know. Never did I want my worst fear to come alive.]

After I handed her her phone, I couldn't say anything. The world just fell on my shoulders. So I went back to the car and just asked God "Why?! How could you possibly let this happen to me?"
I know that God gave me a brain and a choice to make. He told me not to look at it. But it was my choice, not His, to not listen. I mean, I wasn't thinking that this would ever happen. I can't and don't blame God for what happened. He gave me the choice to make. . knowing fully and understanding completely what and just how much heartache would come of it and just how long it all would last. [6 months]

I knew that going through all of that would change me, but it would never have the power to change who God is. He was [and still is] faithful. He was [and always will be] there when it truly felt like every single person I know had just walked out on me. I know that now, when we're in a lot of pain it's so easy to become convinced that we're not wanted. Those are just lies from the enemy. and now, I'm not buying into him or his clever schemes to pull me away from God and who I am in Him. He can most certainly try, but greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

I will say that during that time in my life, I did buy into Satan's lies. And they held me down. I couldn't get out of what I was facing. Unless, I allowed God to heal me and to set me free. I knew that if I were to continue to live my life all out for God, it was majorly important that I let go of all that I was holding in. It was keeping me from moving on and I just had to get past it. I had the choice not to move on, but no matter how much it would hurt to get past, I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life in that pain. It simply wasn't going to happen. And it didn't.

Someone, on a note that I had written in August [a week or two before God healed my heart] on Facebook[I deleted the note, so don't go looking for it.] commented and told me to go and talk to someone. So I took her advice, and went.[I hated her telling me that so bluntly, but I appreciate the bluntness more than ever! I still remember who told me, her name is Tessa.. Seriously, thank you a million times over Tessa.] I've never faced so much hurt and anger in my life before.. it honestly scared me, because at that moment, it was no longer in me, it was in a sense right in front of me. and at that moment, I knew I wasn't going to be the same.. and I'm never going back to before.

I've never been so grateful to know such an awesome God and to have some awesome friends like Tessa. If it weren't for God, I don't think I'd be here typing this or even breathing for that matter. But I am typing this, and I'm positive I'm breathing. Ha. (: But since this God is amazing and His love is unconditional, I will not keep Him a secret. I want to live my life all out for God no matter the cost. His love set me free from so much. I won't keep quiet. (:

Reach Out. Don't Freak Out.

This past week or two God has really been breaking my heart for what breaks His. It's painful, but I don't want to miss what He has planned for my life. and I don't want to miss the opportunities that He places over each and every day to reach out to someone in need of the truth that can rock their world for eternity. I know that more often then not, that I tend to think of myself first before others. And God convicts my heart on that. I know that we, as Christians are called to love like Jesus, and I know at times that that's difficult. And with that said, I remember a few days ago when my mom and me met up with my grandpa at a gas station and before we got there, I noticed an elderly looking woman was sitting on a walker/seat thing with an umbrella to block the sun and a cardboard sign.. I saw her, and my heart just broke for her. I hate seeing people out there on a hot day asking for help.

While we were at the gas station, I had gotten out of the car and went over to where my grandpa was and asked him if he had any money. and he gave me all he had - $2.00. Of course I didn't tell him what I was up to like usual. But I went in there and grabed the biggest bottle of water that I could afford with what little I had been given. And after that, we left and drove to where the lady was at. She was really grateful to have some water. and I just loved her reaction to my choosing to not just hand her some money and let her get it herself, I chose to do so myself since I was already there and I saw that she must have some physical problems. But I didn't focus on what she looked like, or walked like, or anything.. I just chose to love instead of judge.

See, this lady isn't exactly what'd you call "normal looking".. When I got home, I put in some key words in google so I could find out what condition she had... I found a picture and the name of the condition - Neurofibroma - which type 1 affects 1 in every 3,000 and type 2 affects 1 in every 50,000 people. Basically, from what I'm reading, it's a bunch of tumors on your body.. or something like that. But here's a picture of what it looks like:

From where I was when I first saw her, she had the umbrella up to block the sun so I didn't see this. (Note: the picture isn't mine, and that's not her.) All I could see was that she didn't seem to be walking too good (explains the walker thing.) and that it wasn't a good day to be out in the heat without water. At first, before we even got close to the gas station, I wanted some water.. But my need didn't seem all that important when I saw her. Although I debated with myself that I could still get me some water and give her the change.. I lost. I got convicted. and so I chose to go as God led.. which meant giving her the water and the change.
Note to self: Arguing with God never works. He knows more. (:


There is one thing I'm glad about - and that was that before I saw her up close that I was going to show that she's loved and that I didn't want her to get dehydrated by not having some water. Although I didn't get the opportunity to talk with her, I'm praying that my action showed her that she's loved and that it was an extension of God's love for her too. Although the best way to share God's love is to verbally tell someone about Him. Here's the deal - it takes risking it all to share your faith with your friends. Because it is uncool. You might lose your popularity, you might even lose some friends. Are you willing to risk it all? because I believe there's a payoff of seeing God do some pretty awesome things. Are you willing to step out in faith and watch what God does? I sure am. No matter the cost.

Need I remind that nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37) and greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world(1 John 4:4).. and if our God is for us, how can we lose?(Romans 8:31)

Earlier, from Twitter, I posted this: "Ready and willing to change this city for Jesus. And to go all out for God no matter the cost. Who's with me?(: #livethecause #matt2819"

So, here's the question I pose for you, are you ready and willing to change your city for Jesus? If you are, comment and let me know so I can be praying for you. and if you already are doing things to change your city for Jesus, what is it? Share some inspiration for all of us to go all out for God no matter the cost!!

I hope you got something out of that... while I was writing it, I was challenged to go all out for God. Neat how that worked, since it doesn't seem to happen very often.
THEREFORE BE imitators of God [copy Him and follow His example], as well-beloved children [imitate their father].And walk in love, [esteeming and delighting in one another] as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a slain offering and sacrifice to God [for you, so that it became] a sweet fragrance. - Ephesians 5:1,2

I'd like to give you all a challenge, and that is to go and share Jesus with someone, TODAY! and post in a comment how it went so I can be praying about it. GO!! May your heart be broken for the lost.

Making This Summer Worth It

Writing this is worrying me a little. I seem to always be a little nervous when I write something. I don't know how it'll come together or how it'll be taken by those who read it. Agh! Just so frustrating for me. I guess another part of why I'm frustrated is that I wish I was at home in my room with a computer that would charge. Mine stopped charging a few days ago - It's been a frustrating yet growing experience for me. I've really loved these days that I've had so far. I was reading my bible and focusing on "one thing" has really helped me.

Over the past few weeks, I've read things about not letting this summer go to waste and be stuck in spiritual apathy. After I read them, I knew I had to make sure this summer won't get flushed down the toilet. I'm not exactly sure how well it'll work, but I'm praying it will. My summer breaks aren't exactly something I want to waste on things like playing video games, or watching movies/TV all the time and things like that. I just want to make it a summer of evangelism.

I'm going to do whatever I can to share Jesus with those who are willing to listen.. and pray for those who aren't as willing to listen. I have a feeling it won't be easy, it may feel awkward, I may get mocked, I may get laughed at or yelled at. But all those things don't matter, I know that there's a pay off of seeing God work in and through someone who is ready and willing to be used for something awesome. :]

But here's my question for you, and answer it honestly, What is your summer going to contain of? Will you be glad with how your spent your summer when fall comes around? Here's my challenge for you: Don't waste this summer! No one's promised tomorrow. Every second someone in the world dies. What if one of those seconds this summer, it's one of your friends or a family member who doesn't know Jesus? Do you want to risk that for the sake of doing "fun" things that won't mean much of anything in the fall?

I also have another question, is your heart aching for those who don't know Jesus as their Lord and Savior? If it's not, it needs to be. People are lost, dying and desperate for something real and this world fails them at every turn. They need Jesus. No matter how much or how many times they attempt to consume more of this world, they're still going to feel empty.

Of course temporal satisfaction can be found in this world. But they never last. We want more. We always want more. And unfortunately, no human being has found anything under the sun that'll bring them true lasting satisfaction... and so we consume more, all in the hopes that one day it'll fill us up, but it doesn't.. However, there is hope. In Jesus, satisfaction is found. Grace, Love, Peace, Hope, Comfort, Joy, Meaning..etc, it's all in Jesus. And there's always more. Consume more of Jesus. He never fails us. ever. It's Him who saves. He who gives us what we need. It's all in Him. Don't get it twisted.♥

I've got one more question, what are you willing to risk to go and tell your friends that there is hope and true life in Jesus? Are you willing to face the fact that it's possible that friend may never talk to you again? Or that you'll lose your "cool" all because you were willing to be uncool for the sake of what you believe? Or that you could go from the "cool kid" to the one that gets laughed at and ends of sitting alone during lunch? I'll tell you that it's scary and it's not easy. But you're never alone in this. You've got the God of the universe in you and by you. He'll never leave you ever. He's there to give you strength when you feel like you can't go on anymore. It's urgent that you tell others about Jesus.

Don't let this summer or the days/summers to come go to waste. They're important and so are your friends. Will you tell them they matter or will you let them keep wandering searching for meaning and ending up discouraged because they're still empty?

-- I can't finish this, so I'll end it with this..

Get up off the couch. and reach your friends for Jesus. (Yes, that is a challenge to every single Christian out there.. You in? I am.)

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matt. 28:18-20
For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” - Luke 19:10
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” -Acts 1:8
After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly. -Acts 4:31

There Could Never Be A More Beautiful You ♥

Today has just been one of "those days" where I just don't feel my self-worth. I don't even feel like this post, or my writings will make much of a difference... I don't know, my feelings are just feelings. They're a lot like shifting sand. They come and they go. They never stay long. Although they would love to I'm sure. My feelings change, and no matter what I'm feeling or how much it changes - God never does. He's the same always. He still loves me even if I don't feel like He does.

I don't know who this post will impact. Maybe it'll help me.. Because I don't want to be fake and act like I've "got it together." It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that no one's got it together. I know I don't have it all together, and I know I'm not "magazine type." But in this world, no one seems to magazine type. It's all just photoshopped into our own fallen view of perfection. I stopped looking at those magazines when I found out they were just photoshopped.. And it bothers me to see girls compare themselves with someone who simply doesn't exist.. It just seems to be some beauty battle... and no one seems to be winning.

In this world, it's tough being female. We're just expected to jump through hoops, and starve ourselves/or purge what we eat... it's crazy. and it's just stupid. and it frustrates me.

Today just a day that I don't feel beautiful. although I know who I am in Christ, this world brings trouble.. Just like Jesus said it does.. but He also said we are to take heart because He's overcome the world.. No matter what I feel, truth still stands no matter what I may feel. It's not about me, It's about Him.. and in Him, and Him alone, is exactly where I find who I'm called to be.. and in Him, I find what truly matters.. In Him, and to Him, I'm beautiful. and Nothing in this fallen world can change that. ♥

I honestly think I just needed to vent.. (:
I feel so much better now(:



p.s I also I have an unspoken prayer request... Pray for me please. Thanks.

1 Timothy 4:12. (Yes You Can!)

I remember a few weeks back when I was looking for songs by Christian artists that I haven’t heard yet… and I found a certain one that got me. It’s “Do You Want To Know” by Josh Wilson. I actually found this song the night that me and my mom got back from the grocery store and I saw a little girl with an eye patch on one of her eyes. And when I saw her my heart started to hurt. And I said a prayer for her and her family. At that moment so many things were going through my mind at once, I couldn’t sort it all out. Some thoughts were – “How much are the medical bills?” , “Are they stressing out about it?” , “Do they need guidance?” , and most importantly, “Do they know Jesus? The one who will supply all their needs, give them peace that they don’t understand, and guide/carry them through it all?”

Just remembering all of this and listening to the song breaks my heart all over again. With that said, earlier I asked God to break my heart (again) for what breaks His.. Because I realized it wasn’t broken like it used to be for those who don’t know Jesus. I guess I had gotten distracted with life(again). And what got my attention was a post on Xposed2Jesus about feeling stuck. I think I must say that I love God’s timing. Although I get frustrated because He doesn’t do things my way.. and after I say that to Him, I’m reminded of what Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.

In all honesty, I’m really glad my ways aren’t His ways.. He, unlike me, actually knows what’s going on and is sovereign over it all. I know that He has a plan for my life(Jeremiah 29:11), and that it’s more than I or anyone could ever ask for or imagine(Ephesians 3:20, 1 Corinthians 2:9).

I know that these past few days I’ve been feeling small and that I was stuck and just didn’t know what to do. I felt like I’m just one person, I can’t change the world. And after all, society sure doesn’t expect me to. They’ll think I’m crazy, and that I’m too young to want to do such a thing. And well, Jesus doesn’t seem to agree with society and I don’t either. Just because I’m a teenager doesn’t mean I’m incapable of making a difference. And when someone says teenagers are capable of changing the world, we’re not expected to understand what’s said. And even if we understand, we’re not expected to do anything about it, and even if we do something about it, it’s not expected to last. (I borrowed what I said from the back cover of the book “The Rebelution: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations”) I’m sure I worded it slightly differently since I lost the book. but the message is the same, society doesn’t expect a whole lot from teens.

After reading that book, I was frustrated with the low expectations. But at the same time, I was really inspired by these young people who rose above those expectations. That book has had me pumped to try my absolute best and nothing less to change the world. I sure don’t have the slightest idea how to change the world, but I’m going to try. My faith is in God who chooses to use those whom the world sees as not qualified enough. But God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called… and as Ephesians 3:20 says, He’ll do more than what we can ask for or imagine.

Lord, I may be a teenager, but I’m ready and willing to be used by you to make a difference in this world. Help me to see this world with Your eyes.

I want to see people come to know you. And not only that, I want to see them make disciples who make disciples. I want to see them fall in love with You. Lord, give me an undying, all consuming, unashamed, unstoppable passion for You and Your cause.(Matthew 28:19) -Amen.

For the other teens out there::

We may be young, but that doesn’t disqualify us from changing the world.

We, like Rachel Scott, need to start a chain reaction with our lives.

Rachel believed she could change the world one person at a time…and I do too.

oh and you’ve got to check this out…http://www.daretobeadaniel.com/spiritualhelp/read/articles/31/join-the-rebelution/?cat_id=8881

- Kate.

This Little Light Of Mine. (:

It's 4 a.m here and I'm wide awake... I'm definitely going to regret being a night owl in like 3 hours when my 3 and 2 year old cousins decide it's time to knock on my bedroom door and tell me "Katie, It's time to get up!!!" so I'm gonna try and hurry this one up. (:

But no matter how awake or how great I'm feeling, I'm gonna try and make this serious.. because to me, it is. and I pray it is to you too.

It was this past weekend, on Saturday (4.23.2011) me and my mom drove to Ottawa, KS all because I saw Zane's facebook status and I had nothing else planned(And I know I'd probably never find him at Dare 2 Share). So I printed the information out, handed it to my mom, and asked if we could go... Only took two seconds for her to say yes. It was a relief for me, I thought it was going to take longer, and that I'd have to beg or something.. but I didn't have to. (:

Ottawa, KS is an hour drive from Kansas City, Missouri.. It was nice to get out of Missouri... even if it was only for a few hours.. I like traveling, so I enjoyed it. Just wish the sky wasn't so cloudy that night... Because minus the clouds, there are literally stars everywhere. It's beautiful. But Kansas let me down on that, again. -Back to the point- (:

That night when Zane was speaking, he gave those who were there the 48 hour challenge. And the next day my friend texted me and asked if we could give her a ride to church.. (She goes on Easter and Christmas..) and we gave her a ride there and then hung out together for awhile after at my grandparents house.. and I even showed her and my grandparents this video:

We didn't talk about it though and I guess that's because shortly after, we walked across the street to her aunts house. And like normally expected, I felt awkward and out-of-place. Almost everyone in there was smoking, and I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, but I was trying to stand in spots where I was hoping that little to no smoke would get on my clothes.. I thought it worked pretty good though.. It wasn't too noticeable, except when walked back to my grandparents and asked my grandma if I smelled like smoke.. It wasn't too bad, because she said "A little, yeah."

It was a nice time to be sitting out side with a great grandma that I love very much. (:
While we were sitting out there, I wasn't really saying much of what was on my mind.. (that's normal for me though. I'm quiet and tend to keep things to myself.) I was sitting there and I felt bad. Why? Because I had realized I had an open opportunity to share what love really means. And that's only because my friend said something that went like this : "I know how to get _____ to love you. You have to do everything they say." That doesn't sound anything like love.. Sounds like someone being used for what they can do for someone else. It honestly hurt my heart to hear that.. I wasn't shocked by it though.

But I did regret not saying something and possibly turning the conversation to what love really is. (1 Corinthians 13) I realize now that I probably should've taken it up and said something. But I blew it. I failed at the 48 hour challenge.. and I don't want to do the same thing over again. I can't let fear hold me back any more from sharing my faith.

I know that there will be days when I want to give up and it seems to be "too hard" to do.. I know that it's in those times that I need to trust God and not be afraid to face whatever may come. Because I remember the very night I put my full trust and faith in Jesus.. (10/17/2008) I made a promise that I'd follow Him no matter what happens or how tough life gets. I don't know why I made that, maybe because I've seen that type of faith in others.. and I want(ed) it to be my own.. and it is. How do I know that? Because I've been through some really tough things in the last year.. and if it weren't for my faith in God, I wouldn't have made it... I don't know where I'd be without Him or the friends that He blessed me with who helped me tremendously. (you know who you are)

I also know that one day there will be no more pain and we will finally see Jesus' face, (Rev.21:4) So until then, I'm going to try and brave the dark and let my little light shine... I pray that I'm not alone on this either.

Oh by the way, you have 48 hours to go and tell someone (or a few someones..) about Jesus... Starting...NOW! go. Consider yourself challenged. (Come back and share the story on here... I'd like to hear it!)

-Go Light Your World and Live THE Cause!-

Katelyn

My Word For 2011: Focus. (Heb.12:2)

I don't know how to start this (but that seems to be quite normal..) but this month, and well this year has been challenging for me and a little rough..but I guess that through it all, I'm choosing to trust in God because I know that without Him, I'm a miserable train wreck with no direction..

Speaking of 'direction', it was about a week ago when I was sitting outside looking up at the stars and I knew I needed to pray, so that's why I was sitting outside.. and I was out there 10 minutes shy of an hour praying for basically everything that was on my heart to pray about.. and at first I felt a little lame because I didn't know how to start or what to say.. so I just told God that I needed direction.. and He told me He'll guide me, and gave me a bible verse... Proverbs 3:5,6. ("Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.")

I'm not liking that seemingly a lot of this years problems are because of what happened last year.. It doesn't make me happy, but I know that through it all, no matter how bumpy this road of life gets, that God will never leave me nor forsake me.. and that He loves me, and that He's the daddy that'll never let go of me. This year is going better than last year even though it has it's difficulties... I'm just glad it's not a repeat of 2010.(: I don't want anything to be a repeat of last year... that was horrible. But if something bad does happen like last year, I'll get through it.. Because even though life is tough God is still good. (:

"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! Because I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

There are some lyrics to this song that I really love... and they are :

"It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times.."

and..

"I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory.."

Ever since last year (starting March 14th for me), life has changed a lot... at times, I love it... and other times.. I just want to know 'why me?, why now?'. The 'Why' question seems to be the one to most often go unanswered... I want to know why, but I dread the answer that I'd possibly get.. and I don't think I'm ready for an answer either.

But all in all, focusing on God isn't exactly easy like I would want it to be.. It's a challenge that I'm not about to give up on just because life can be a pain at times.. and I hope and pray that you don't give up focusing on Him either. I chose the word 'Focus' because of Hebrews 12:2 and from a personal painful experience. (2010) It took me quite a while to finally figure out that what happened last year and the year before, wasn't my fault at all. I never want to carry blame that simply isn't mine to bear... I want to let it go and let God handle it.. And what got me through wasn't myself, or my "strength".. It was God and His strength. and some pretty helpful friends.. (:

I think the moment I realized it wasn't my fault, was when I faced the pain, the anger, and the hurt that I held in towards someone that should be there but never has been.. I didn't like facing it, and I didn't want to because I was aware it was going to hurt me a ton.. but I guess I placed my wants aside and focused on what I truly needed to make life better and not let the past hold me back from my future that God has planned for me.. I placed my focus on God and allowed Him to heal me. Because I knew that holding it in wasn't going to help me, it was only hurting me and robbing me of everything that God had planned for my life..

My puny human teenage mind doesn't grasp why things are the way that they are, and I don't know why God would even allow certain things to happen to those who really love Him.. but I believe that Romans 8:28 is true, and that God does work for the good of those who love Him... I just gotta remember that He doesn't do things my way.. (Isaiah 55:8) and that He really does know what He's doing and I don't want to let myself to get in the way of that.. God promises in Jeremiah 29:11, that He knows the plans He has for us and that they are to give us hope and future and they're not intended to do us harm.. He loves us and He wants to give us good things. (Matthew 7:11)

I know that this life isn't an easy road to be on, and that for certain things, we can't just "get over it" like some would boldly say to one struggling.. and I guess by "get over it", this world means to bottle it up, party hard, and just don't face it and deal with the pain properly.. this world's view makes me sad.. Like for us to be "worth" anything, we have to be practically anorexic, wear clothes that look like they belong on a dog because they're so tiny.. and that we have to ditch what should or does matter and conform to the patterns of this world.. sorry world, but I'm opting out on what you say.. 'Sides, you have nothing to offer me, you'll just leave me high and dry like a desert.. I'm not buying into your pretty boxed lies and your appealing ribbons that you place on them.. Sorry, wait, I take that back.. I'm not sorry.. (:

For me to fit in would cost me too much... I'm not kicking my morals to the curb for this world. I know who I am, and my identity is found in Christ and Him alone.. it cannot be taken from me(:

(If your curiosity kicked in on wondering what happened last year... click here to read about it )

I feel like I've just been ranting.. but that's okay. (: It's 1:40a.m. Guess that means I should probably put a legit attempt on going to bed.. (:

I love Jesus (:

- Kate.

Wow, God.

This weekend has really made this Jesus loving teenager speechless... (:

This picture is something that I just absolutely love... Just look at it. It's gorgeous.

So, I'll admit, Kansas City may not have the most glorious sun set in human standards.. But each and every sun set is God made. and that makes it glorious. This picture was taken last weekend after Junior Bible Quiz at the church... What amazes me, and has been amazing for me, is that the same God who made that sun set, and places the stars in the night sky, loves me and cares for me. He's left me speechless. His greatness. His holiness. His perfection. His mercy. His crazy love for me and for everyone... agh! I'm just speechless. <3 It's just crazy. And this is awkward, but I don't care! It's pretty awesome. I embrace it... and you should too.

But to get to the point, this weekend, God showed me that I was placing certain things about Him into a box... so He'd fit my standards or whatever. I'm glad He showed me that.. Because it made me think things like: "Who am I that God would care about me?" , "Who am I to tell the Creator of the Universe what, how and when to do things?" and "I don't deserve His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness... I deserve Hell. I deserve His justness against all the wrong that I've done.. but wow. I've placed my faith in Him to save me from Hell, and by placing my faith in Him, life with Jesus starts now and lasts forever. and for some reason, He's letting me share this amazing truth with others."

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm ranting, but this is the only thing I'd want to ever rant about... The only thing worth talking about... God.

This song that I'm about to post is what really got me to thinking and being amazed by God... (:

Excuse my ranting on, but I hope you got something out of reading it. (:

- Katelyn.

Simply Awesome. (: (It's a rant about today.)

Today was just that, awesome... and nothing less. (Minus getting up at 4am, that in itself, was not awesome...) Actually, now that I think about it, that word is an understatement. I guess to put in a way that'll make sense, I guess I'm just in awe of God and well, set that aside for a moment, and let me say "why" this is what it is.. Today we (some people in the youth group) went to Fine Arts in Columbia, Missouri. I, at first, truly thought that it was just going to be boring, and I would have wasted my day that I wouldn't have anything planned on anyway. Well, I was proven wrong and I'm glad. I like traveling, and it was well worth it.

I wrote something for Fine Arts. I guess you could say corrected something that I had already written. And that got a 31 in scoring which is 'excellent'. (: And no, I didn't read it. I chose not to. I was too afraid of being afraid while reading it in front of people. Prayerfully later on, I'll force my self to face that giant of fear and take it out with faith!

I wish I had the words to clearly describe how awesome it's been. But my words fail at describing something (God) that's indescribable. But I can try and explain that He blew me away today in so many ways. (Makes me really grateful He gave me this gift of writing to spread THE Cause.) And since it is 12:33 a.m., I'll only talk about one main thing that I'm still amazed at..

I'm amazed at the fact that God chooses to use people like me who are shy for His glory.. People whom the world seems to push aside and deem unworthy and just not care about. But I love how God seems to flip that idea on it's head and use those same people the world looks down upon to bring Himself glory, and to save others from an eternity apart from Him in Hell.. I'm grateful God is who He is and that He gave me this gift of writing. I just pray that even though it is almost 1a.m, that this makes sense that no matter how crumby this world makes you feel, God can still use you..

You don't need a million dollars to be used by the God of the universe.. all you need is a willing, surrendered heart to what He wants to do in this world through you. As I like to say, you may not change the entire the world.. but you can change yours. And then teach your friends how to change theirs!! For God!

Are you willing to be used by the God of the universe? I am.

If you are, comment and let me know... and be praying for one another. because we all know this isn't easy. but I pray that we're aware that it's worth it. (:

- Katelyn. (:

Oh and I'm prayerfully considering (that after I turn 18 next year) Masters Commissions. (Google it. because I'm confused on explaining it.) (:

I Want To Set The World On Fire(:

It was just yesterday when I was in the living room and I still hadn't changed the channel from playing Christian music. Don't get me wrong, I love Christian music... and this time, I was reading over my last post about Dare 2 Share... and was almost crying. I don't like sharing what I shared, but I choose to do so anyways. And as much as it hurts looking back at 2010, I'm seeing that that year was needed to get me to where I am now. I do, at times, miss who I was... but then I remember how much I love who I am because of 2010..

But anyways, as I was reading it, the song "Healing Hand Of God" by Jeremy Camp was playing, and then it was "Set The World On Fire" by Britt Nicole... those songs seem to go together so well for me.. I guess it's because I've seen the healing hand of God, and I know He is who He says He is, that I want to set the world on fire for Him... He's too good to keep silent about. And I don't care if talking about Him makes me uncool. If anyone knows me at all, they can tell that I clearly do not care about being "cool" or "fitting in"... I'm me and that's that. I love Jesus and I'm not afraid to tell people that. Call it unashamed of the One who died to give me life.

If loving Jesus and making it known makes me uncool then so be it. I'm not bothered. and it's nothing new to me... Yeah, it may suck at times when it's my friends who decide to walk away from me because I told about a God who loves them so much that He died to save them and wants to give them eternal life if they'd just put their faith and trust in the one who is trustworthy and faithful forever.

"My Fathers will is that everyone who looks to the Son of Man and believes in Him, shall have eternal life..." -John 6:40.

If you ask me, I'd say that being uncool is the coolest thing ever... but the world would never agree on that. I've been called crazy, but I've come to embrace it.(:

[Lyrics - Britt Nicole.]

I wanna set the world on fire

Until it's burning bright for You

It's everything that I desire

Can I be the one You use?

[Chorus]

I, I am small but

You, You are big enough

I, I am weak but

You, You are strong enough to

Take my dreams

Come and give them wings

Lord with You

Nothing I can not do

Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children

And reach across the farthest land

And tell the broken there is healing

And mercy in the Father's hands

----

I could swear that this song just reads my heart so well... I want to set the world on fire till it's burning bright for You. Do you agree? If you do, then I challenge you to reach out to someone who needs to be shown the love that'll never fade away... the love that changed lives 2,000 years ago, will do the same in 2011.. The God who used people who weren't considered "cool" back then, is and will do the same today... Are you ready and willing to be used by and for the God of the universe? (:

I am.

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matthew 28:18-20

I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.-Isaiah 46:4

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” -Acts 1:8

"If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, let not one go unwarned and unprayed for." -Charles Spurgeon

"I am certain that to preach the wrath of God with a hard heart, a cold lip, a tearless eye, and an unfeeling spirit is to harden men, not benefit them." - Spurgeon.

"I believe that one reason why the church of God at this present moment has so little influence over the world is because the world has so much influence over the church." - Spurgeon.

"Shall I give you yet another reason why you should pray? I have preached my very heart out. I could not say any more than I have said. Will not your prayers accomplish that which my preaching fails to do? Is it not likely that the Church has been putting forth its preaching hand but not its praying hand? Oh dear friends! Let us agonize in prayer." - Spurgeon.

Are you in with me?(:

- Kate.

I'm An 'UN' one(: [Dare 2 Share 2011]

[Before i can say that dare 2 share was great, I've got to say something else first so that when I do say it was great, it'll make more sense on why I say that.]

This was my 5th year going to Dare 2 Share and it feels like I was just there in 2010.

I've been through hell in 2010. I don't know if I can make this story short and to the point... It's

not a sweet story, it's one filled with a lot of pain, tears, and a broken heart.. but with all that, it

seemed like my faith was struggling and was under attack. I hardly knew what to do majority of

the time. I remember those long painful nights where I'd be the only one home because mom

was closing thatnight. [She closed a lot during the summer last year... it was painful for me to

go through.] I remember looking forward to being home alone... for reasons I don't understand.

But for many nights, I'd find that I'm crying myself to sleep. It hurts just thinking about all that

I went through. I wasn't aware that my situation could get any worse, or my heart to be any

more broken than it already was when my parents divorced my freshman year of high school

in May of '09.

But I'm a Junior in High School now, and although it's painful to look back at all that I was put

through in the period of those 5 1/2 to 6 months. I didn't understand why God would ever let me

go through all that I went through. But no matter how many times I look back, I still see the pain

and the way my room was, and where everything was placed... It seems so much like a movie in

my mind.. It's painful to go through it in my mind, but as I look back and remember what I felt

at that time, I'm seeing that even though I felt like I was alone and completely broken hearted, I

was still UNalone.. and for that, I'm glad. God never left me, not for one moment. He says I'm

important, and that I'm loved, and that He'll never ever back down from any of His promises.

I've already made it clear that looking back on 2010, is hard for me to do.. it's even harder that

now, I'm looking back at who/what caused this pain. Please, don't get me wrong on this. He's put

me through a lot that I didn't deserve, I have a choice here. I could be mad at him for it, or I

could choose to love and choose to forgive him. And as hard as it's been on me, I'm still choosing to

love instead of hold a grudge against him... this isn't a one time choice, it's a daily battle.. and it

hurts... but I do love him and I do forgive him. And I'm sure he's aware that I've been hurt

by him, but put that aside and please know that I love you and I forgive you.

The 'him' above that I talked about, is my dad. On March 13th, 2010 my mom and her friend

went inside, and mom left her phone out in the car... and she got a text message. And what do I

do? I tried to do the right thing... I wasn't aware that that 'right' thing, would end up ripping my

heart into pieces. It was a message that no one wanted me to find out through anyone else other

than my dad. The message was from my grandpa to my mom saying that she needs to tell my

dad that he needs to tell kt [me] that he's getting married again... and that's what they all knew,

but wanted him to tell me... in person. But this is all how that story of my life goes.

I don't why I went through all that I did, but I know that God never left my side. While I've been

through some tough stuff, this out of them all, is the worst.
That text message wounded me in the

worst degree..
I know that no matter what I face in life,
God loves me too much to ever leave me.

He loves me soo much that He died to save me from an eternity apart from Him. He loves me so

much that I'm aware that I may go through something even more horrible than this, that God will

never leave nor forsake me.

The story of my life isn't about living in a nice home, or having dinner at the table as a family,
or allof us actually being a 'family' and having a dad that's involved...
instead it's about brokenness and

hope that I can only find in the one that died and rose again to give me life to the fullest.
I knowthat life here will never be easy on anyone, pain is not a respecter of persons...
it's life and ithappens to everyone..
Just not everyone is willing to be honest about the fact that they're human

and like everyone else, they struggle too.
It's not rocket science to be honest and real with yourself

and with others... Life's complicated enough already.

But put some of my rambling aside, and let me say that my world has been changed because of

some Jesus loving [un]cool people who care enough [or a lot] to do these conferences.
I'm just one among thousands more who will say thank you.(:
It still feels like it's 2010... only in the sense that we were in Lincoln this weekend...
and it feels like I was just there a year ago and back home so unaware of

what the next week will bring on me.. And that was painful. But I got through it...
not by myself, but God carried me through
and on August 25th, 2010, He healed my broken heart.

But the thing that makes Dare 2 Share great, is that it's not some
"I love Jesus, how 'bout you" sorta thing...
But I love being challenged to reach out to my friends who need Jesus.
This year was great. I'm a little speechless now.
I don't know how to describe it... I'd post a video, but blogger isn't letting

me..

I'm ready to reach out to my friends who need Jesus. Like Zane said, it's scary, you may lose
some friends over it, you may lose your cool, but like Zane, I believe there's a payoff..
A payoff in seeing God work through you, seeing God do things that are bigger than us,
bigger than your youth group, bigger than your church, your state.. etc.
I don't know how to describe it in words that'll a make sense.
but I'm UN'd [again] and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Hope that makes sense... and that you're ready to get UN'd yourself. Here's what ya gotta do,
read your bible. (:

- Kate.

Don't Let Fear Be A Factor..

Definition: the extent to which a person's fear keeps them from doing something;

any feeling of fear that prevents an action.

I couldn't tell you how many times fear has been a factor when it comes to being bold about Jesus and my faith.. It's played a factor for too long. I know it still will be there, but I don't need to let it stop me from sharing the greatest message ever... I may be shy, and feel like I'm not good enough at times, but my feelings of inadequacy haven't stopped God from using who He pleases.

But my feelings of fear when sharing Jesus isn't whether or not I'll fit in for it, or if people will like me... but it's more of not knowing what to say. I know that at times, I get a little frustrated with people when I'm talking with them about God. And it's been a struggle to choose to love and let that overcome the frustration.. I want to love like Jesus loves. I want to live like Jesus did when He was here 2,000 years ago and lived the life I couldn't have lived, and died the horrible death that I should have gotten. but He took my place. He died to prove that He loves me more than I'll ever know... [ He loves you too as if you were the only one to love.

I know that while I'm still here, I'm going to feel like I'm not good enough to go and tell the greatest message ever to people I know or don't know. It's scary. But I know that God loves me, and His love compels me to do what He's called me to do. I, like every single Christian, are called to share His love with those who are around us... whether we know them or not. Without Jesus, the eternal destination for those who willingly reject Him is still the same... it's eternal seperation from God in a place that alot of people don't like to bring up... [ Hell. ]

I pray your heart is breaking for those who don't know Him or have chosen to walk away... Mine is. and it hurts.. but I'm praying for them that their eyes will be opened to the truth and that they'll accept Jesus... and I'm praying that even though alot of us don't feel good enough to do what God's called us to do, that we'll know that in our weakness, He is strong. and we don't need to let fear be a factor in that.

I hope you've been encouraged(: [Some how]

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." -Luke 19:10-

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matthew 28:18-20-

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. -John 3:16-17

For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. -Isaiah 9:6-

For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. -John 6:40

We love because he first loved us. -John 4:19

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28

“no eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no human mind has conceived—
the things God has prepared for those who love him— 1 Corinthians 2:9

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. -Ephesians 4:2

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39

"For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. -2 Corinthians 5:14

2011. (: "Even If..."

It's been a good start to this year.(: It's definitely blown away 2010. [Thank God.. that was one tough year on my life.. But I made it through!]

Well my 17th birthday was on the 16th this month, and it's been great. I loved the feeling of when I turned 17, it actually felt like all the crap in the past was actually behind me... It was an amazement for me, because I never thought I'd make it through the hell that I was stuck in... But I did. Not on my own, but with God and Him showing His love for me through my friends and others who truly care about me and aren't all talk. I love you guys. (:

My mind set for this year, is no different than it was almost 3 years ago when I gave my life to Jesus...

God's never promised we'll have an easy life. No matter how hard we cover our struggles up, they're still there. Running from them only makes them grow. Wounds like that don't heal when we ignore the problem and the one who will heal our broken hearts with His love... I've learned that with forgiveness, comes healing. It's tough. But it's soo worth it.

"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart because I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

My mind set is "even if"... my goal is to be real with others and myself.. (:

Love Changed Me.

I don't know exactly where this is going to go by the time I'm finished writing it, but I'm thinking about a sharing how love has changed my life in my soon-to-be 17 years of existence on this messed up, broken, desperate for hope, kinda world... I'll be 17 tomorrow, and life has not been easy on me... as true for everyone else. But as for today, I kinda feel "old". I saw my first grade teacher in a Christian bookstore in Kansas, and well, I soon found myself having vivid memories of my life since first grade... and my conclusion is that life has been one heck of a roller coaster.. and I'm at a loss for words, I can't thank God enough for what He's done for me. I guess the best way that I know how to say "thank you" to Him, is living my life for Him to the fullness of my ability... and I fail at doing that at times, but God is always willing to take me back. No matter how crummy I feel. I love Him.


And it's kinda hard for me to believe I'll be 17 tomorrow sometime after 3pm... It's just craziness.. I don't want to grow up... but I'm looking forward to it though... well, a little(: But seeing my first grade teacher from like forever ago, was just, wow. Life came and, well, I'll say it, life really does fly by when you're older than 6.. But no matter how "fast" life flies by, I'm making it my life-long goal to never ever waste my life on things that will perish... I want to live my life in such a way that it impacts lives. Like I'm sure it already has.(:


I don't know how to put this into words, but I'm going to try and am praying it makes sense when it's down and posted.. but to be completely honest, I didn't know if I'd make it to 17.. but I'm almost there. and it's great to be close to it. I've been through hell alot last year, it was very painful and it was one heck of a struggle to get through. But I did. It was never, not for one second, was it ever on my own. I got through it with the help of my absolutely incredible friends and most certainly with the help and undying love of one truly incredible God. Just looking back, I can see the times when I felt completely broken, hurt, angry, lost, stuck in the trap of confusion, and a flood of other emotions. It hurt, and those feelings felt deadly.. literally. It was super tough, and I am one grateful person to say that I got through my pain and "hopelessness" by the help and crazy love of God and my friends, of both whom I love and appreciate in soo many ways.


Even those who didn't say much to me during that time, know that when you did, whether it was something simple, know it made a difference in my life. and although I don't know how to explain how love changed me, I'm hoping it shows through my writings and everything else... God's good.<3

Seventy Times Seven.

It seems like that no matter how many times I hear this song by Chris August, I'm still going to cry... It's tough writing this, and I don't know where this is going to go. But I heard this song twice on K-LOVE today... and I've always wanted them to play it, and it's nice that they are.. but this song brings back painful memories and the moment of healing for me. See, it took me a while to know that to truly, fully heal from the pain I had, was to forgive. As much as I thought I had the right to be mad at my dad for what he's done, I forgive him and still love him tons. I don't want him to forget that, ever. I don't want him to forget that his youngest daughter loves her daddy regardless of what I've been put through.



In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asked Jesus how many times we should forgive our brother or sister.. His answer was seventy times seven. God has called us to forgive. It's one of the most difficult things I've had to do, but it was also one of the most freeing things. With forgiveness comes healing.. I know that Satan likes to use the bitterness that we've all built up in our lives to his advantage. The only thing Satan wants to do, is destroy us, steal from us, and make sure we're killed.. Satan's an accusor, he wants you to think that your situation is all your fault... That's what he did to me, and I bought his lie... and soo many others that he whispered so convincingly into my teenage ears...



Forgiveness isn't exactly easy, but it brings healing. I was told in my situation, to get help from a counselor.. and that's what I did. and then I was told that healing hurts, it does. Sorta feels like a thorn being pulled out. but as much as it hurts, the healing is soooo much greater!!! And needed.



With forgiveness comes healing.. :)

I'm Gonna Cross That Line..♥

I've come to find that when I don't know how to start something when I'm writing about it, is when I'd much rather live it out instead of writing about it... Writing about it is so much easier though, but no excuses. I don't know where this is going to go by the end of it, but I hope that you get the point that it's time we cross that invisible line that keeps us from reaching out to those who are in desperate need of knowing that someone cares about them and that they're not just a face in the crowd, but that they're someone who is loved beyond what they can understand... When you see people, do you ever think "What are they feeling?" , "God, do they know you?" , "Do they see you?", "Are they hurting?" , "Are they mad at you, God?" , "Where are they going to spend enternity?" I pray your heart is breaking for those who desperately need that personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

...and this is normally the point at which I start to get a little frustrated. I really want to make it clear that people desperately need Jesus. I'm tired of that invisible line keeping me from doing what God's called me and every single christian out there to do... to reach out to people. Whether you're gifted in it or not, Jesus said to do it. it's time we listen up and do as He says.

... and this is the part where I'm feeling like no one's going to get it.. but I know someone will. I think? ugh. but I'm trying to find something on Facebook, or possibly I saved it to my computer (which isn't likely) but it goes along with this so well. Because I don't want to just talk about the importance of doing what Jesus said for us to do, but I want to live it out...

I want to share a story from my life that happened in October of 2010. (It happened two years to the very date that I gave my life to Jesus.. :) ) I hope I find it... cause I loved the feeling of reaching out to someone that everyone else was just ignoring and passing them off as people who were just going to use the money they recieved to go and buy drugs, or alcohol (sp?)... it's frustrating when people do that. But I know that we should reach out and not freak out.

Okay, so I found it.. but it's really long. So, instead of making this one super long, I'll just tell you that by clicking here you can go read the story :) Please read the story (:

I remember that day like it was yesterday... I'll be honest, reaching out isn't easy. We make excuses to avoid doing it... "What if they won't listen to me?" , "They're going to hate me for bringing this Jesus up." , "I won't be cool anymore.." , or "I shouldn't do this, someone else can. I'm not qualified enough to talk about Him." Those things go through my mind alot, but on that day, in October, I went out of my way to reach out to someone who needed it... I didn't care if everyone else hated it, or if it made me uncool. But I wasn't afraid of it... I didn't let myself freak out. That invisible line seems to be powerful... we're not supposed to cross it, and if we do, we're uncool for it and we may lose friends over it.

I'm refusing to be silent about Jesus. He died to save me... He took my place and yours. He loves us. He died to prove it. He went through a painful death to set us free... He's just far too great to keep quiet. I know we're putting alot at risk for Jesus, but what are you willing to risk to rescue your friends from an eternity away from God?

and yes, i'm hoping you read the story, because you've been challenged... if you read it, you know what I mean. :) and I'm challenging myself to take it too..

This may not have been my greatest blog post, but I hope you got the point (:
Reach out. Don't freak out.


"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." - Matthew 9:36


"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”" - Matthew 28:18-20


"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” - Luke 19:10


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7♥


"Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD. Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth." Jeremiah 1:6-9


"Free grace can go into the gutter, and bring up a jewel!" - Charles Spurgeon.


"If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies. If they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees. Let no one go there unwarned and unprayed for." - Spurgeon.


"A church in the land without the Spirit is rather a curse than a blessing. If you have not the Spirit of God, Christian worker, remember that you stand in somebody else's way; you are a fruitless tree standing where a fruitful tree might grow." - Spurgeon.


"Shall I give you yet another reason why you should pray? I have preached my very heart out. I could not say any more than I have said. Will not your prayers accomplish that which my preaching fails to do? Is it not likely that the Church has been putting forth its preaching hand but not its praying hand? Oh dear friends! Let us agonize in prayer." - Spurgeon.