It's 4 a.m here and I'm wide awake... I'm definitely going to regret being a night owl in like 3 hours when my 3 and 2 year old cousins decide it's time to knock on my bedroom door and tell me "Katie, It's time to get up!!!" so I'm gonna try and hurry this one up. (:
But no matter how awake or how great I'm feeling, I'm gonna try and make this serious.. because to me, it is. and I pray it is to you too.
It was this past weekend, on Saturday (4.23.2011) me and my mom drove to Ottawa, KS all because I saw Zane's facebook status and I had nothing else planned(And I know I'd probably never find him at Dare 2 Share). So I printed the information out, handed it to my mom, and asked if we could go... Only took two seconds for her to say yes. It was a relief for me, I thought it was going to take longer, and that I'd have to beg or something.. but I didn't have to. (:
Ottawa, KS is an hour drive from Kansas City, Missouri.. It was nice to get out of Missouri... even if it was only for a few hours.. I like traveling, so I enjoyed it. Just wish the sky wasn't so cloudy that night... Because minus the clouds, there are literally stars everywhere. It's beautiful. But Kansas let me down on that, again. -Back to the point- (:
That night when Zane was speaking, he gave those who were there the 48 hour challenge. And the next day my friend texted me and asked if we could give her a ride to church.. (She goes on Easter and Christmas..) and we gave her a ride there and then hung out together for awhile after at my grandparents house.. and I even showed her and my grandparents this video:
We didn't talk about it though and I guess that's because shortly after, we walked across the street to her aunts house. And like normally expected, I felt awkward and out-of-place. Almost everyone in there was smoking, and I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, but I was trying to stand in spots where I was hoping that little to no smoke would get on my clothes.. I thought it worked pretty good though.. It wasn't too noticeable, except when walked back to my grandparents and asked my grandma if I smelled like smoke.. It wasn't too bad, because she said "A little, yeah."
It was a nice time to be sitting out side with a great grandma that I love very much. (:
While we were sitting out there, I wasn't really saying much of what was on my mind.. (that's normal for me though. I'm quiet and tend to keep things to myself.) I was sitting there and I felt bad. Why? Because I had realized I had an open opportunity to share what love really means. And that's only because my friend said something that went like this : "I know how to get _____ to love you. You have to do everything they say." That doesn't sound anything like love.. Sounds like someone being used for what they can do for someone else. It honestly hurt my heart to hear that.. I wasn't shocked by it though.
But I did regret not saying something and possibly turning the conversation to what love really is. (1 Corinthians 13) I realize now that I probably should've taken it up and said something. But I blew it. I failed at the 48 hour challenge.. and I don't want to do the same thing over again. I can't let fear hold me back any more from sharing my faith.
I know that there will be days when I want to give up and it seems to be "too hard" to do.. I know that it's in those times that I need to trust God and not be afraid to face whatever may come. Because I remember the very night I put my full trust and faith in Jesus.. (10/17/2008) I made a promise that I'd follow Him no matter what happens or how tough life gets. I don't know why I made that, maybe because I've seen that type of faith in others.. and I want(ed) it to be my own.. and it is. How do I know that? Because I've been through some really tough things in the last year.. and if it weren't for my faith in God, I wouldn't have made it... I don't know where I'd be without Him or the friends that He blessed me with who helped me tremendously. (you know who you are)
I also know that one day there will be no more pain and we will finally see Jesus' face, (Rev.21:4) So until then, I'm going to try and brave the dark and let my little light shine... I pray that I'm not alone on this either.
Oh by the way, you have 48 hours to go and tell someone (or a few someones..) about Jesus... Starting...NOW! go. Consider yourself challenged. (Come back and share the story on here... I'd like to hear it!)
-Go Light Your World and Live THE Cause!-
Katelyn
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