Beauty In The Broken

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the title of this post. But it seems to be quite true though. I don't like pain, and I'm sure you don't either. And I especially don't like the pain that things like divorce can bring. I just found out today from my sister that my Dad and Step Mom are getting a divorce soon. I'm not shocked by it, I knew it was going to happen. Yes, I'm hurt by it. But I've been through it once before in 2009, so I'll get through this one once more too.
Although it doesn't seem like it'll hurt as much as before at all, which seems to be a good thing.

Because I know that even though my earthly father has failed me and forsaken me, my sister, and Mom, I know that I have a Heavenly Daddy who will never fail me nor forsake me and He has an intense love for me(and for you too) that will never change!

Let me back up here for a sec . . . I've always known that God loves me and that He's my Daddy, but none of that really hit me til October 17th, 2008(When I put my trust in Jesus) and March 13th, 2010 - August 25th, 2010(When I found out through a text my Dad was getting married again, and then in August when God healed my heart and I forgave my Dad). But if I'm being honest, going through the divorce and me, Kayce (My sister), and my Mom moving into a different house leaving my Dad behind, didn't seem much different than it was before. I mean, it was different. . Speaking in the sense that my Dad was not physically present. But it felt the same for me anyways. I'm not happy that my parents are divorced, but there's nothing I can do about it. It was never my fault their relationship between each other didn't work out like we all would've liked for it to have.

Of course, I had days, even nights, where I would wonder "Why? Why did this happen? Can someone please fix it?" But I know it'd be useless to wonder "Why?" So instead, I let those moments of heartache draw me nearer to Christ and not farther from Him. I know now that if it weren't for those heart-breaking experiences that I've had, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be anywhere near to where/who I am today.

Through all those painful experiences, I've learned that they have the power to change me but it would never have the power to change who God is. He was [and still is] faithful. He was [and always will be] there when it felt like every single person I know had just walked out on me. I know now that when we're in a lot of pain, it's so easy to become convinced that we're not wanted. But that's just a lie from the enemy. And now, I'm not buying into his lies to pull me away from God and who I am in Him. I know that he'll do his very best to pull me away, but "greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world." (John 4:4)

 I will say that during those seasons of my life, I did buy into Satan's lies. And they held me down. I couldn't get out of what I was facing. Unless, I were to allow God to bring healing/love/forgiveness into those places of my heart that were deeply wounded by the pain that I was feeling. I knew that it was going to hurt, but I had to let it happen if I truly wanted out of it. I also knew quite well, that if I really wanted to live my life "all in" for God, I had to let all that I was holding in, go. It was holding me back from moving on and I just had to get past it. . Even if getting past it meant experiencing some hurt that healing would bring. I just wasn't going to spend the rest of my life in that pain. It simply wasn't going to happen. And it didn't! 

I've honestly never been so grateful to know such an awesome God and to have such awesome friends like Tessa who was daring enough to boldly tell me to go talk to someone about what I was going through. If someone has a better word than "thankyou", let Tessa know!! :)
I don't know how God does it, but He somehow turns a painful and seemingly ugly situation into something beautiful. I guess it's just a puzzle piece to the bigger picture He's been creating all this time. I may not always understand why I or others have to face difficult times in life, but I do know that God is in control and that He'll never let me or you go. He loves you and He cares for you. How cool is that? The God of the Universe loves and cares for YOU!!! Makes me just want to tell others about His love for them and what He's done for me.

What about you? What will you do? You know God loves you, so go and share His love with someone today. I dare ya. It may be awkward, but it's sooooooooo worth it!!

Dare 2 Share

**I had written this post a while ago, but felt I didn't do it justice. So, here I go again a couple months later... and these are my thoughts as clear as I can get them right now.**

I have come to over the years, really appreciate the Dare 2 Share team and what they do for youth leaders and teenagers like me through free resources on their website and time spent preparing for conferences in different cities in the U.S. I just don't know if they're aware of how awesome and appreciated they truly are for all their hard work that seems to pay off some how.

• I remember my first Dare 2 Share conference in 2007 in Lincoln, Nebraska. It was "Game Day", I don't remember the first one too well, except for the fact that we skipped lunch because the lines were crazy long and ended up going to a children's museum there. (The pictures from the 2007 conference/children's museum are on my FaceBook page.) And I remember the Game Day jersey that Greg wore. But that's pretty much all I remember, except for the fact that I thought he and the others were a bit crazy over this Jesus guy.

• I don't really remember the 2nd(08)year but at the 3rd one, I cried during worship because I was so amazed that Jesus loved a sinner like myself. That was something that had wrecked my world October 17th, 2008 in Branson, Missouri at a youth convention. I couldn't tell you who was leading worship or even what song they sung when I had my encounter with God and His love set me free. It was really awesome.

• I don't really remember the 4th year either, but I really messed something up and I hope she forgives me because I'm sorry I screwed up and should've kept my mouth shut. But I do remember Saturday night when Greg said my name from the stage (I, in all honesty, have no clue what Greg said after my name, except for "I know she's here, I haven't met her yet. Where is she?" I wish I knew) and majority of my youth group stood up, pointed to me and shouted, "She's right here!!!" Yeah, so much for slumping down in my seat. I felt like such an emotional wreck, that was a hard weekend, and it was my fault for it too. But that moment, changed everything. So, thank-you, Greg. I know he didn't plan for it to happen at all, but I'm thankful he did it anyways. I don't know how I would've faced the next 7 months of my life had he not done that and those people wouldn't have added me on FaceBook who were a big help for me and what I was going through. (To read what happened, because I know you're curious now, click here) 

• 5th year, well, I wrote a post on that one. - click here.
  
• 6th year, my "last" year as a student. It made me sad, I'll admit. I so very much appreciate them and all the hard work they do to put together these conferences that are used by God to change lives, like mine. I know it was my last year, so I decided to make a little something for Greg and Zane. It was a THE Cause key chain. It was small, but it was my little way of saying "thank you". I don't know what they've done with the key chains, but I just want them to know they're appreciated and that I'm just one of thousands impacted by what God's done through these two and the rest of the Dare 2 Share team that are behind the scenes.

Now, I feel like I've done a better job of putting my thoughts together. I'm no pro, but these guys are legit and I appreciate them.




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Dare 2 Share's 2013 Tour - "Follow" - Click on "Follow" to go to the site and find more info there. They're worth checking out. They have free resources too.

Side note: I would never recommend checking out any ministry if I don't first fully believe in what they're doing. 

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