Beauty In The Broken

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the title of this post. But it seems to be quite true though. I don't like pain, and I'm sure you don't either. And I especially don't like the pain that things like divorce can bring. I just found out today from my sister that my Dad and Step Mom are getting a divorce soon. I'm not shocked by it, I knew it was going to happen. Yes, I'm hurt by it. But I've been through it once before in 2009, so I'll get through this one once more too.
Although it doesn't seem like it'll hurt as much as before at all, which seems to be a good thing.

Because I know that even though my earthly father has failed me and forsaken me, my sister, and Mom, I know that I have a Heavenly Daddy who will never fail me nor forsake me and He has an intense love for me(and for you too) that will never change!

Let me back up here for a sec . . . I've always known that God loves me and that He's my Daddy, but none of that really hit me til October 17th, 2008(When I put my trust in Jesus) and March 13th, 2010 - August 25th, 2010(When I found out through a text my Dad was getting married again, and then in August when God healed my heart and I forgave my Dad). But if I'm being honest, going through the divorce and me, Kayce (My sister), and my Mom moving into a different house leaving my Dad behind, didn't seem much different than it was before. I mean, it was different. . Speaking in the sense that my Dad was not physically present. But it felt the same for me anyways. I'm not happy that my parents are divorced, but there's nothing I can do about it. It was never my fault their relationship between each other didn't work out like we all would've liked for it to have.

Of course, I had days, even nights, where I would wonder "Why? Why did this happen? Can someone please fix it?" But I know it'd be useless to wonder "Why?" So instead, I let those moments of heartache draw me nearer to Christ and not farther from Him. I know now that if it weren't for those heart-breaking experiences that I've had, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be anywhere near to where/who I am today.

Through all those painful experiences, I've learned that they have the power to change me but it would never have the power to change who God is. He was [and still is] faithful. He was [and always will be] there when it felt like every single person I know had just walked out on me. I know now that when we're in a lot of pain, it's so easy to become convinced that we're not wanted. But that's just a lie from the enemy. And now, I'm not buying into his lies to pull me away from God and who I am in Him. I know that he'll do his very best to pull me away, but "greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world." (John 4:4)

 I will say that during those seasons of my life, I did buy into Satan's lies. And they held me down. I couldn't get out of what I was facing. Unless, I were to allow God to bring healing/love/forgiveness into those places of my heart that were deeply wounded by the pain that I was feeling. I knew that it was going to hurt, but I had to let it happen if I truly wanted out of it. I also knew quite well, that if I really wanted to live my life "all in" for God, I had to let all that I was holding in, go. It was holding me back from moving on and I just had to get past it. . Even if getting past it meant experiencing some hurt that healing would bring. I just wasn't going to spend the rest of my life in that pain. It simply wasn't going to happen. And it didn't! 

I've honestly never been so grateful to know such an awesome God and to have such awesome friends like Tessa who was daring enough to boldly tell me to go talk to someone about what I was going through. If someone has a better word than "thankyou", let Tessa know!! :)
I don't know how God does it, but He somehow turns a painful and seemingly ugly situation into something beautiful. I guess it's just a puzzle piece to the bigger picture He's been creating all this time. I may not always understand why I or others have to face difficult times in life, but I do know that God is in control and that He'll never let me or you go. He loves you and He cares for you. How cool is that? The God of the Universe loves and cares for YOU!!! Makes me just want to tell others about His love for them and what He's done for me.

What about you? What will you do? You know God loves you, so go and share His love with someone today. I dare ya. It may be awkward, but it's sooooooooo worth it!!