This weekend has really made this Jesus loving teenager speechless... (:
This picture is something that I just absolutely love... Just look at it. It's gorgeous.
So, I'll admit, Kansas City may not have the most glorious sun set in human standards.. But each and every sun set is God made. and that makes it glorious. This picture was taken last weekend after Junior Bible Quiz at the church... What amazes me, and has been amazing for me, is that the same God who made that sun set, and places the stars in the night sky, loves me and cares for me. He's left me speechless. His greatness. His holiness. His perfection. His mercy. His crazy love for me and for everyone... agh! I'm just speechless. <3 It's just crazy. And this is awkward, but I don't care! It's pretty awesome. I embrace it... and you should too.
But to get to the point, this weekend, God showed me that I was placing certain things about Him into a box... so He'd fit my standards or whatever. I'm glad He showed me that.. Because it made me think things like: "Who am I that God would care about me?" , "Who am I to tell the Creator of the Universe what, how and when to do things?" and "I don't deserve His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness... I deserve Hell. I deserve His justness against all the wrong that I've done.. but wow. I've placed my faith in Him to save me from Hell, and by placing my faith in Him, life with Jesus starts now and lasts forever. and for some reason, He's letting me share this amazing truth with others."
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm ranting, but this is the only thing I'd want to ever rant about... The only thing worth talking about... God.
This song that I'm about to post is what really got me to thinking and being amazed by God... (:
Excuse my ranting on, but I hope you got something out of reading it. (:
Today was just that, awesome... and nothing less. (Minus getting up at 4am, that in itself, was not awesome...) Actually, now that I think about it, that word is an understatement. I guess to put in a way that'll make sense, I guess I'm just in awe of God and well, set that aside for a moment, and let me say "why" this is what it is.. Today we (some people in the youth group) went to Fine Arts in Columbia, Missouri. I, at first, truly thought that it was just going to be boring, and I would have wasted my day that I wouldn't have anything planned on anyway. Well, I was proven wrong and I'm glad. I like traveling, and it was well worth it.
I wrote something for Fine Arts. I guess you could say corrected something that I had already written. And that got a 31 in scoring which is 'excellent'. (: And no, I didn't read it. I chose not to. I was too afraid of being afraid while reading it in front of people. Prayerfully later on, I'll force my self to face that giant of fear and take it out with faith!
I wish I had the words to clearly describe how awesome it's been. But my words fail at describing something (God) that's indescribable. But I can try and explain that He blew me away today in so many ways. (Makes me really grateful He gave me this gift of writing to spread THE Cause.) And since it is 12:33 a.m., I'll only talk about one main thing that I'm still amazed at..
I'm amazed at the fact that God chooses to use people like me who are shy for His glory.. People whom the world seems to push aside and deem unworthy and just not care about. But I love how God seems to flip that idea on it's head and use those same people the world looks down upon to bring Himself glory, and to save others from an eternity apart from Him in Hell.. I'm grateful God is who He is and that He gave me this gift of writing. I just pray that even though it is almost 1a.m, that this makes sense that no matter how crumby this world makes you feel, God can still use you..
You don't need a million dollars to be used by the God of the universe.. all you need is a willing, surrendered heart to what He wants to do in this world through you. As I like to say, you may not change the entire the world.. but you can change yours. And then teach your friends how to change theirs!! For God!
Are you willing to be used by the God of the universe? I am.
If you are, comment and let me know... and be praying for one another. because we all know this isn't easy. but I pray that we're aware that it's worth it. (:
- Katelyn. (:
Oh and I'm prayerfully considering (that after I turn 18 next year) Masters Commissions. (Google it. because I'm confused on explaining it.) (:
It was just yesterday when I was in the living room and I still hadn't changed the channel from playing Christian music. Don't get me wrong, I love Christian music... and this time, I was reading over my last post about Dare 2 Share... and was almost crying. I don't like sharing what I shared, but I choose to do so anyways. And as much as it hurts looking back at 2010, I'm seeing that that year was needed to get me to where I am now. I do, at times, miss who I was... but then I remember how much I love who I am because of 2010..
But anyways, as I was reading it, the song "Healing Hand Of God" by Jeremy Camp was playing, and then it was "Set The World On Fire" by Britt Nicole... those songs seem to go together so well for me.. I guess it's because I've seen the healing hand of God, and I know He is who He says He is, that I want to set the world on fire for Him... He's too good to keep silent about. And I don't care if talking about Him makes me uncool. If anyone knows me at all, they can tell that I clearly do not care about being "cool" or "fitting in"... I'm me and that's that. I love Jesus and I'm not afraid to tell people that. Call it unashamed of the One who died to give me life.
If loving Jesus and making it known makes me uncool then so be it. I'm not bothered. and it's nothing new to me... Yeah, it may suck at times when it's my friends who decide to walk away from me because I told about a God who loves them so much that He died to save them and wants to give them eternal life if they'd just put their faith and trust in the one who is trustworthy and faithful forever.
"My Fathers will is that everyone who looks to the Son of Man and believes in Him, shall have eternal life..." -John 6:40.
If you ask me, I'd say that being uncool is the coolest thing ever... but the world would never agree on that. I've been called crazy, but I've come to embrace it.(:
[Lyrics - Britt Nicole.]
I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?
[Chorus]
I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do
I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father's hands
----
I could swear that this song just reads my heart so well... I want to set the world on fire till it's burning bright for You. Do you agree? If you do, then I challenge you to reach out to someone who needs to be shown the love that'll never fade away... the love that changed lives 2,000 years ago, will do the same in 2011.. The God who used people who weren't considered "cool" back then, is and will do the same today... Are you ready and willing to be used by and for the God of the universe? (:
I am.
Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” -Matthew 28:18-20
I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.-Isaiah 46:4
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” -Acts 1:8
"If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, let not one go unwarned and unprayed for." -Charles Spurgeon
"I am certain that to preach the wrath of God with a hard heart, a cold lip, a tearless eye, and an unfeeling spirit is to harden men, not benefit them." - Spurgeon.
"I believe that one reason why the church of God at this present moment has so little influence over the world is because the world has so much influence over the church." - Spurgeon.
"Shall I give you yet another reason why you should pray? I have preached my very heart out. I could not say any more than I have said. Will not your prayers accomplish that which my preaching fails to do? Is it not likely that the Church has been putting forth its preaching hand but not its praying hand? Oh dear friends! Let us agonize in prayer." - Spurgeon.
[Before i can say that dare 2 share was great, I've got to say something else first so that when I do say it was great, it'll make more sense on why I say that.]
This was my 5th year going to Dare 2 Share and it feels like I was just there in 2010.
I've been through hell in 2010. I don't know if I can make this story short and to the point... It's
not a sweet story, it's one filled with a lot of pain, tears, and a broken heart.. but with all that, it
seemed like my faith was struggling and was under attack. I hardly knew what to do majority of
the time. I remember those long painful nights where I'd be the only one home because mom
was closing thatnight. [She closed a lot during the summer last year... it was painful for me to
go through.] I remember looking forward to being home alone... for reasons I don't understand.
But for many nights, I'd find that I'm crying myself to sleep. It hurts just thinking about all that
I went through. I wasn't aware that my situation could get any worse, or my heart to be any
more broken than it already was when my parents divorced my freshman year of high school
in May of '09.
But I'm a Junior in High School now, and although it's painful to look back at all that I was put
through in the period of those 5 1/2 to 6 months. I didn't understand why God would ever let me
go through all that I went through. But no matter how many times I look back, I still see the pain
and the way my room was, and where everything was placed... It seems so much like a movie in
my mind.. It's painful to go through it in my mind, but as I look back and remember what I felt
at that time, I'm seeing that even though I felt like I was alone and completely broken hearted, I
was still UNalone.. and for that, I'm glad. God never left me, not for one moment. He says I'm
important, and that I'm loved, and that He'll never ever back down from any of His promises.
I've already made it clear that looking back on 2010, is hard for me to do.. it's even harder that
now, I'm looking back at who/what caused this pain. Please, don't get me wrong on this. He's put
me through a lot that I didn't deserve, I have a choice here. I could be mad at him for it, or I
could choose to love and choose to forgive him. And as hard as it's been on me, I'm still choosing to
love instead of hold a grudge against him... this isn't a one time choice, it's a daily battle.. and it
hurts... but I do love him and I do forgive him. And I'm sure he's aware that I've been hurt
by him, but put that aside and please know that I love you and I forgive you.
The 'him' above that I talked about, is my dad. On March 13th, 2010 my mom and her friend
went inside, and mom left her phone out in the car... and she got a text message. And what do I
do? I tried to do the right thing... I wasn't aware that that 'right' thing, would end up ripping my
heart into pieces. It was a message that no one wanted me to find out through anyone else other
than my dad. The message was from my grandpa to my mom saying that she needs to tell my
dad that he needs to tell kt [me] that he's getting married again... and that's what they all knew,
but wanted him to tell me... in person. But this is all how that story of my life goes.
I don't why I went through all that I did, but I know that God never left my side. While I've been
through some tough stuff, this out of them all, is the worst.
That text message wounded me in the
worst degree..
I know that no matter what I face in life,
God loves me too much to ever leave me.
He loves me soo much that He died to save me from an eternity apart from Him. He loves me so
much that I'm aware that I may go through something even more horrible than this, that God will
never leave nor forsake me.
The story of my life isn't about living in a nice home, or having dinner at the table as a family,
or allof us actually being a 'family' and having a dad that's involved...
instead it's about brokenness and
hope that I can only find in the one that died and rose again to give me life to the fullest.
I knowthat life here will never be easy on anyone, pain is not a respecter of persons...
it's life and ithappens to everyone..
Just not everyone is willing to be honest about the fact that they're human
and like everyone else, they struggle too.
It's not rocket science to be honest and real with yourself
and with others... Life's complicated enough already.
But put some of my rambling aside, and let me say that my world has been changed because of
some Jesus loving [un]cool people who care enough [or a lot] to do these conferences.
I'm just one among thousands more who will say thank you.(:
It still feels like it's 2010... only in the sense that we were in Lincoln this weekend...
and it feels like I was just there a year ago and back home so unaware of
what the next week will bring on me.. And that was painful. But I got through it...
not by myself, but God carried me through
and on August 25th, 2010, He healed my broken heart.
But the thing that makes Dare 2 Share great, is that it's not some
"I love Jesus, how 'bout you" sorta thing...
But I love being challenged to reach out to my friends who need Jesus.
This year was great. I'm a little speechless now.
I don't know how to describe it... I'd post a video, but blogger isn't letting
me..
I'm ready to reach out to my friends who need Jesus. Like Zane said, it's scary, you may lose
some friends over it, you may lose your cool, but like Zane, I believe there's a payoff..
A payoff in seeing God work through you, seeing God do things that are bigger than us,
bigger than your youth group, bigger than your church, your state.. etc.
I don't know how to describe it in words that'll a make sense.
but I'm UN'd [again] and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Hope that makes sense... and that you're ready to get UN'd yourself. Here's what ya gotta do,
read your bible. (:
