I'm An 'UN' one(: [Dare 2 Share 2011]

[Before i can say that dare 2 share was great, I've got to say something else first so that when I do say it was great, it'll make more sense on why I say that.]

This was my 5th year going to Dare 2 Share and it feels like I was just there in 2010.

I've been through hell in 2010. I don't know if I can make this story short and to the point... It's

not a sweet story, it's one filled with a lot of pain, tears, and a broken heart.. but with all that, it

seemed like my faith was struggling and was under attack. I hardly knew what to do majority of

the time. I remember those long painful nights where I'd be the only one home because mom

was closing thatnight. [She closed a lot during the summer last year... it was painful for me to

go through.] I remember looking forward to being home alone... for reasons I don't understand.

But for many nights, I'd find that I'm crying myself to sleep. It hurts just thinking about all that

I went through. I wasn't aware that my situation could get any worse, or my heart to be any

more broken than it already was when my parents divorced my freshman year of high school

in May of '09.

But I'm a Junior in High School now, and although it's painful to look back at all that I was put

through in the period of those 5 1/2 to 6 months. I didn't understand why God would ever let me

go through all that I went through. But no matter how many times I look back, I still see the pain

and the way my room was, and where everything was placed... It seems so much like a movie in

my mind.. It's painful to go through it in my mind, but as I look back and remember what I felt

at that time, I'm seeing that even though I felt like I was alone and completely broken hearted, I

was still UNalone.. and for that, I'm glad. God never left me, not for one moment. He says I'm

important, and that I'm loved, and that He'll never ever back down from any of His promises.

I've already made it clear that looking back on 2010, is hard for me to do.. it's even harder that

now, I'm looking back at who/what caused this pain. Please, don't get me wrong on this. He's put

me through a lot that I didn't deserve, I have a choice here. I could be mad at him for it, or I

could choose to love and choose to forgive him. And as hard as it's been on me, I'm still choosing to

love instead of hold a grudge against him... this isn't a one time choice, it's a daily battle.. and it

hurts... but I do love him and I do forgive him. And I'm sure he's aware that I've been hurt

by him, but put that aside and please know that I love you and I forgive you.

The 'him' above that I talked about, is my dad. On March 13th, 2010 my mom and her friend

went inside, and mom left her phone out in the car... and she got a text message. And what do I

do? I tried to do the right thing... I wasn't aware that that 'right' thing, would end up ripping my

heart into pieces. It was a message that no one wanted me to find out through anyone else other

than my dad. The message was from my grandpa to my mom saying that she needs to tell my

dad that he needs to tell kt [me] that he's getting married again... and that's what they all knew,

but wanted him to tell me... in person. But this is all how that story of my life goes.

I don't why I went through all that I did, but I know that God never left my side. While I've been

through some tough stuff, this out of them all, is the worst.
That text message wounded me in the

worst degree..
I know that no matter what I face in life,
God loves me too much to ever leave me.

He loves me soo much that He died to save me from an eternity apart from Him. He loves me so

much that I'm aware that I may go through something even more horrible than this, that God will

never leave nor forsake me.

The story of my life isn't about living in a nice home, or having dinner at the table as a family,
or allof us actually being a 'family' and having a dad that's involved...
instead it's about brokenness and

hope that I can only find in the one that died and rose again to give me life to the fullest.
I knowthat life here will never be easy on anyone, pain is not a respecter of persons...
it's life and ithappens to everyone..
Just not everyone is willing to be honest about the fact that they're human

and like everyone else, they struggle too.
It's not rocket science to be honest and real with yourself

and with others... Life's complicated enough already.

But put some of my rambling aside, and let me say that my world has been changed because of

some Jesus loving [un]cool people who care enough [or a lot] to do these conferences.
I'm just one among thousands more who will say thank you.(:
It still feels like it's 2010... only in the sense that we were in Lincoln this weekend...
and it feels like I was just there a year ago and back home so unaware of

what the next week will bring on me.. And that was painful. But I got through it...
not by myself, but God carried me through
and on August 25th, 2010, He healed my broken heart.

But the thing that makes Dare 2 Share great, is that it's not some
"I love Jesus, how 'bout you" sorta thing...
But I love being challenged to reach out to my friends who need Jesus.
This year was great. I'm a little speechless now.
I don't know how to describe it... I'd post a video, but blogger isn't letting

me..

I'm ready to reach out to my friends who need Jesus. Like Zane said, it's scary, you may lose
some friends over it, you may lose your cool, but like Zane, I believe there's a payoff..
A payoff in seeing God work through you, seeing God do things that are bigger than us,
bigger than your youth group, bigger than your church, your state.. etc.
I don't know how to describe it in words that'll a make sense.
but I'm UN'd [again] and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Hope that makes sense... and that you're ready to get UN'd yourself. Here's what ya gotta do,
read your bible. (:

- Kate.