Just Another Rant... :)

Okay, so to be honest, I'm starting to miss that time in life when it seemed simple... and by simple I mean the drama being "HE STOLE MY CRAYONS!", Boys having cooties, and homework being 2 + 2... Now, sadly, it isn't so simple anymore. The drama has gone from crayons, to "SHE STOLE MY BOYFRIEND!!" -and that ending in some stupid girl fight-, and boys having "cooties", to girls saying, 'He's so mine.' , and homework, well, that's still confusing. (Just admit it, when you were in kindergarden/first grade, you thought 2 + 2 was a hard problem... I sure did... now, what I dislike is when they started putting letters in with math and those two in with chemistry.) Well, I'm clearly not in Elementary anymore, I'm in high school... and well, the homework is confusing, the drama is annoying, and as for the boys, they're not as dramatic as the females are. :-)

I've been thinking lately, (more like for the past 20 minutes) that I didn't believe people when they told me that life will fly by and before you can even blink, you'll have kids of your own ... blah blah blah... (I haven't gotten to the 'having kids of your own' part yet... that's another story that God knows about) These people that would tell me this, normally got me giving them some look and of course, I rolled my little eyes at them, said "Yeah, right!" and walked off.

Well, I blinked, and I'm a Junior in high school.... and I'm excited/very nervous for these last two years of high school. I don't want to believe that I'm really going to be finishing out high school in two years... Ohmygoodness.!

To be honest, I'm so glad Sophmore year is over.... It wasn't entirely suckish, but when February hit, life took a one eighty on me... I've never been through anything in my life that was ever that hard (I mean, my parents divorce was hard, but this, this tops it by like so much)... Believe me, it was horrible. I've had thousands of sleepless nights, crying so much my eyes would start to hurt, laying in bed asking God 'Why me? Why now?'. I was tempted to cut my wrists, tempted to end my life... But I didn't attempt either at all.

Typing the above was hard... I started to cry at the end... especially at the 'end my life' part. That's deep, and that's serious... and I'm glad that some people actually took me seriously on that. When I said tempted, I ment it. but as the song I was listening to was ending, I heard on K-LOVE, "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns come on... and guess what? There's that peace and comfort again. God's amazing. (And that's one major UNderstatement! He's indescribable!)

Back to the nervous/excitedness part...

I'm nervous because I'm starting/leading a campus ministry at my high school and I have no clue if what happened last school will impact my junior year negatively... that's the last thing I want, and the last thing I'd need is people (a.k.a certain family members) getting on my case about grades.. okay, I know they're important, but really? I don't need you to be my critic... I need you to lead me... If you're going to critize me, make sure it's constructive critizism before you open your mouth.... or you'll only make me mad at you, and then I won't want to talk to you and if you wanna know why I don't want to be critized, go back and look at what happened my sophmore year, I'm not in the mood to be ordered around like some sort of puppet on strings.

And, I've some what set my mind on getting good grades these two years that I have left at high school. Yeah, the only thing I hate about that is, when my grandparents give me the 'if you get good grades, C's and above, we'll give you money..' speech. Wow. really? Did it occur to you that money, for me, is a poor motivator? Would it kill you to say "I'm proud of you for getting good grades"? And giving me a little nudge and encourgement to go and do it is so much better than hearing "Ok, you've gotten good grades... here's ten dollars." I see what they're trying to get at with the money and all, but it's pathetic. (If I bursted your bubble, get over it... and blow another one.)

Ohhh, yeah, I start junior year August 16th... six months before I turn 17!! --ohmygoodness!--

P.S.
I'm excited but extremely nervous!! So, pray will ya?! For my school to be transformed by the power of the gospel and for other teenagers, like me, to be fully committed to THE Cause ... and will relationally and relentlessly reach out to those that they know with the message and mission of Jesus.? Oh yeah, and I'm shy and I'm leading this crazy thing with other teenagers who love Jesus... Yeah, I love this!
And I was texting a friend earlier, and she said that she and her best friend started doing Flagpole Fridays before they graduated... Every Friday they'd get a group of people to pray around the flagpole in front of their school.... Hmmm, I don't know about you, but I'm thinking we're going to do this too.!!

- Katelyn